Twenty Seven Problems

Pump up the volume

2008-03-16T21:42:00.002+11:00

I could complain about this forever, but I don't want to sound too old or bitter...

Seriously, what is going on with the decibel levels emitted by regular, every day people? On the street at traffic lights, on the train, in restaurants, in the apartment above me... people talking somehow manages to be louder than traffic, television, music on my iPod. I don't understand how two people sitting or standing within a few feet of each other need to speak so loudly that (a) they are pretty much shouting already and (b) they don't realise that the rest of the planet can hear them.

Sometimes, I'm quite tempted to pay attention for 2 minutes (I wouldn't call it eavesdropping, since they are the ones yelling into my ear canal), and then join in the conversation, amazing them by "you know, like, totally, OMG, yeah" understanding what they were going on about.

Most times though, I have to restrain myself from finding the nearest large, blunt object...

Limited resources

2008-01-29T21:59:00.000+11:00

Consider this.

The world has a limited supply of "common sense". One giant dollop, spread across the globe like slightly melted butter spread across a piece of toast. This supply is a constant amount, never being consumed, and never being created. It simply is.

Unfortunately, this level of common sense must be shared across the entire population of planet Earth. In the good old days (let's say Ice Age/Neanderthal times, leading in to the rise of Homo Sapiens), this common sense was distributed within a tiny population. The end result - humans survived, flourished, evolved, found fire, developed the wheel, began farming and agricultural practices, domesticated animals, discovered ores and metals etc.

That evolutionary process was quite impressive, and led us to our current state, many, many billion people on a tiny rock, spinning through the universe. That fixed level of common sense now has to be shared across billions and billions of people, young and old, tall and short, rich and poor. Just like butter on toast, the process of spreading the common sense isn't necessarily even when considering such large population. Clumps of common sense may be left on the edges of society, providing us with the brilliance and inspiration of artists, musicians, scientists... But for too many other millions and millions of people, there just wasn't enough common sense to go around, leaving us with...well, quite frankly, idiots.

I like to remind myself of this theory each day when I'm watching tv, reading the paper or just walking around, shaking my head at the multitude of acts of sheer stupidity, rudeness, incompetence and ignorance I've witnessed.

This theory does have the occasional flaw, like what about rude geniuses? Millionaire fools? But that's a thought for another day...

PS. In case the point of this entire post didn't make sense, here's the answer - I've finally decided to start writing down my genius theories before they slip away, back into the ether, never to be remembered again. More for amusement than any particular reason. I've already started forgetting the details of my karmic marketplace for hangover symptom sharing...

They're dead alright, can I go now?

2008-01-29T21:58:00.000+11:00

Sorry 'bout that. Facebook just got in the way momentarily.

If only

2007-09-18T21:49:00.000+10:00

Man, I need a holiday. Seriously.

Work really does feel like Groundhog Day at the moment; every day is the same issues, speaking with the same people, toying with the same software, staring out the same window at the same view. My brain feels like mashed potato. Where's the challenge? Where's the intrigue and interest?

Don't get me wrong, I still go to work and do a good job, but methinks I need to hit F5 on the keyboard of life.

But it isn't just work, it's seeing friends go overseas for work, on holidays, to live, and all of a sudden, being hit by that feeling of itchy feet everywhere at once. I need to go somewhere, see something new, try and figure out different money, stand around like an ignorant tourist on a street corner with a map in my hand. It's been almost dead on two years since we went to the US of A - New York misses me, and I miss New York.

And bestflight.com.au doesn't help either. Evil website with evil email updates with evil promises of cheap flights of fancy to destinations beyond the end of the rainbow of dreams.

Annual leave isn't a problem... that's one benefit of being stuck in front of a laptop 5 days a week, every bloody week... you accumulate leave like it's going out of style. (Time off will never go out of style though, it's like the crisp white shirt or little black dress of life).

Now, all I need is a WHOLE lotta cash to fund my adventures (and a plan of attack, can't forget a plan). If only the world didn't require the cash money; surely we should be able to pay in coolness or dream power or something?

Tell me I didn't just see that

2007-08-12T22:07:00.000+10:00

I love a nice hoodie. They have a hood, they're comfortable, you can wear them in mild weather on their own, or team them up with a jacket in cooler weather and still look good. You can even sometimes have a choice between zipped and unzipped.

But, excuse me for a moment. When the hell did almost anything with a hood and maybe a zip, turn so frakin' ugly?

Look, I get it. I'm getting older, and the kids are wearing all sorts of stuff these days. But the rise of the fluoro geometric wallpaper vomit that are the styles and patterns on most hoodies these days is inexplicable.

Since when did "stylish" and "trendy" become so diametrically opposite? This look might be trendy, but it sure fails the stylish test. It doesn't even pass the "vaguely socially acceptable" and "doesn't actually burn my retinas with ugliness" tests either. And yet the guys (and girls) who wear this stuff prance and preen around the streets like they don't actually realise they look like they arer wearing the contents of dumpster from behind a fashion house of the 1980's that have fallen from the sky, detoured via a paintball game, got stuck in traffic and then played a game of pin-the-ugliness-on-the-twit-who-thinks-they-don't-look-like-East-17. My god, did that sentence even make sense?

Match your favourite hoodie with a pair of narrow black jeans, a luminous pink cap turned sideways and a pair of dirty Cons for a look that just screams "I have no sense, no taste, no style, no clue, can I borrow the latest trend from General Pants and copy every single one of my friends to prove how hip and unique I truly am? Now please misspell something on my Myspace, thanks".

I would try and slap sense into these sheep, but it ain't worth the effort.

Note: this post is brought to you by the guy who wore a black toga (happily coined a "Melbourne cliche toga") and sandals on Friday night.

True story

2007-08-05T16:47:00.000+10:00

100th post.

Awesome.

There goes the neighbourhood

2007-07-17T23:28:00.000+10:00

I've been pretty quiet here recently, partially due to work, but mainly due to the social black hole that is Facebook (well, Facebook and my usual assortment of geek-related sites that I trawl).

I like to think of Facebook as Myspace for people who can spell good. I'll never rack up three figures in friends, and I'll probably always have pretty boring status updates, but it is really nice to re-connect with old friends, even if only to say "hey, I still exist".

And from the point of view of someone who spends at least part of his day pretending to understand basic IT stuff, Facebook functionality is beautifully integrated and streamlined. And doesn't have ridiculous backgrounds.

In other news, my next post is number 100. Ha, what an awesomely pointless milestone.

Gene therapy

2007-07-03T22:46:00.000+10:00

Had lunch at Soul Mama at the St Kilda Baths on Sunday afternoon. It bills itself as a "global vegetarian cafe", and I was quite impressed with the range of flavours of food available. Good view out over the bay as well.

As I was staring outside admiring the view, I noticed the Soul Mama logo on the window (in reverse, of course, since it was facing outside for everyone not in the restaurant to see, not inside so that patrons could read where they were). I couldn't help but notice... in the modern font that "Mama" was written in, it really looked like "GMGM" when viewed backwards. Is that wrong?

How did it get so far...?

2007-06-29T22:01:00.000+10:00

OK, so I have a few amusing stories in my repertoire from events over the past few years. Personal favourites so far include;

- My $1 victory on Deal or No Deal

- The free meal that never was at a well-known Melbourne restaurant

But possibly the strangest to date has to be the bogan baby name... started as a joke between a few friends, spotted by other friends in the paper, heard in discussions on morning radio, discovered in forums around the interweb and now even made a newspaper story. But I've probably had enough of it now, so if you want to know the details, get in touch... it's very very odd. Or you could just scroll down.

That elusive balance

2007-06-17T16:14:00.000+10:00

I haven't really said much recently here mainly because, quite frankly, I've been spending 10-12 hours a day at a computer at work for the past two weeks, and the last thing I feel like doing when I get home is typing more. I even missed having a day off for Queens Birthday weekend.

So, in the grand scheme of work-life balance, the work end of the scales is tipping a little bit too far over.

Don't get me wrong - I'm being extraordinarily productive, and much of this long-hours syndrome is by choice (although, if I didn't stay back to get stuff done, then it wouldn't really get done in time at all by anyone else, so "choice" is perhaps false advertising). At least, I don't have anyone standing over my desk telling me that I "have to stay back". If that happened, I think I would want to hit them in the face.

Should only be for a few more weeks though, and then hopefully those scales start balancing out properly. Now, if only all the effort got rewarded in an appropriate way, then I might be happy with work...

Culinary capers at the birthday bonanza

2007-06-06T09:07:00.000+10:00

Can't believe it's been a week and half since birthday weekend, and I still haven't had the chance to write anything. Well, unfortunately, I won't be adding much more today.

My two major birthday meals this year were at Circa and Taxi. If you're gonna do it, may as well do it in style...

Did the degustation menu at Circa with matched wines (one of the most decadent, delicious and memorable meals I've had), while Taxi was (only!) the standard 3 course binge.

Descriptions of food and experiences to follow when I get the chance...

When breeding goes horribly wrong...

2007-05-27T14:54:00.000+10:00

Beta Blastacular

2007-05-19T21:49:00.000+10:00

So there's a multi-player beta (test) version of Halo 3 available on my Xbox 360 at the moment. Which basically means, an opportunity for me to fill the appetite of the geek inside, and try and beat up/shoot up players from around the world online. Well, around the world does tend to mean "American teenager", although someone today had a gamertag that included "South Melb", so he probably wasn't so far away.

Anyway, follow my online exploits (read: multiple instances of getting destroyed in a computer game) at...
My Halo 3 beta efforts

And speaking of gamertags, here's an email conversation about mine...

"Friend" (read: Target Practice): you sword factor dude?
Me: That's me...
TP: okay, I thought you used "hello kitty" as your tag?
Me: Nah, man, isn't that yours? Complete with pink armour?
TP: no hang on, that's right, you used to go as "pussy galore"
Me: Doesn't matter what my tag was, still didn't stop me from smacking you
over the head with my battle rifle.
TP: I think you mean 'hand bag'.
Me: Battle rifle, hand bag... you're just as dead either way.

EDIT: If you have no idea about all this silliness, watch this...

Monday Zero

2007-05-19T21:29:00.000+10:00

I saw Nine Inch Nails last Monday night, at the Metro. I was pretty happy that the gig even happened... there were cancellations of some of the Sydney gigs, and Trent Reznor walked off stage at the first Melbourne show.

But, despite all that, the gig went ahead. And oh, what a gig it was. Probably the best NIN gig I've been to (I've seen them at Big Day Out and Rod Laver Arena)... the sound was fantastic, it was a smaller venue, dramatic smoke and lighting effects, the band played really well and Trent seemed to be re-invigorated, after what sounded like a bad few days. A real mix of a set list, from across pretty much every album and EP, from Pretty Hate Machine and Broken through to the new album, Year Zero. NIN even played Into the Void, Only and Dead Souls, which would have probably been three of the tracks I was really hoping for. And it was a solid, non-stop 100 minute set, with the only lull in the middle where one or two instrumental and slower tracks brought down the momentum of the rest of the set. But, hey, it was still an awesome show.

However, it took me so long to write up this mini-review because, quite frankly, if I hadn't waited a while, this would have just been an ugly rant and rave post. And I'm not going to waste my time doing that. Suffice to say, Melbourne crowds, just like Melbourne drivers and Melbourne pedestrians, are rapidly becoming some of the rudest, discourteous, impatient and arrogant people around anywhere. So... to the three people we counted all night who actually bothered to say "excuse me" as they pushed past/through us, thank you, you are in an every-shrinking minority. To everyone else who pushed/shoved/elbowed/shouldered/stumbled/staggered straight into us, go away now please.

(And no, this was not in the mosh pit, this was up the back, away from the jumping around... where the civilised folk should be).

Rock the blog

2007-05-06T20:52:00.000+10:00

Birthday month

2007-05-04T22:33:00.000+10:00

So, it's my 30th birthday later this month. I need to figure out exactly what I am going to do...

For the last few years, I've had a house (well, technically apartment) party. Those parties always seemed to live up to the expectations of the planning process (how did I comfortably manage 30 or 40 odd people each time, I didn't think I knew that many people?!) and everyone seemed to have a great time. Both parties also had memorable alcohol stories (the Brazilian crazy rum 2 years ago, and the Absolut Mandarin shots last year - strange for someone who doesn' tend to drink hard!). Unfortunately, the parties were a lot of effort (cleaning, catering, cleaning again) and I never managed to chat with everyone I really wanted to.

So this year, the house party is no more.

I am also influenced by the availability of friends... this apart, apart from the usual overseas correspondants, I'll have at least another 3 or 4 close friends either out of town, out of the state or out of the country. Thus, I think I'm leaning towards an entire birthday week of activities and socialising... a selfish but completely enjoyable way to go, and a good way to see friends in a more personable way, and have a proper talk. At the moment, my plan is looking like...

Monday - meditation and preparation
Tuesday - drinks with old work friends
Wednesday - dinner and trivia
Thursday - 'Pirates of the Caribbean'
Friday - secret dinner with J-star
Saturday day - pub lunch with cousins
Saturday night - cocktails
Sunday morning - breakfast and recovery
Sunday night - swanky family dinner

Any thoughts on other great birthday week ideas to fill in the empty time slots? EDIT: No more empty spaces...

New York, New York

2007-05-01T18:45:00.000+10:00

As requested by my mum...

Gershwin Hotel

This was our room at the Gershwin...

...and this was the view from around the corner, looking up the street.

Washington Square Hotel

This was our room at Washington Square...

...and this was Washington Square park, next to the hotel.

Hope this helps!

Where do I start?

2007-04-22T22:35:00.000+10:00

So it's been over a fortnight since my last entry... very lazy of me. Although it's not that I've actually been lazy, quite the opposite. And I'm currently suffering from a severe case of hyperactive brain disorder, so I might just have a few things to say in my post(s) today.

Here goes...

Spanish feast

2007-04-22T20:46:00.000+10:00

Prior to one of my recent comedy festival outings, I had dinner at MoVida. I've come to the conclusion that MoVida is one of my favourite restaurants in Melbourne... the food is fantastic, the location is great and the service is always good.

Mmmm, Spanish food. I always love the opportunity to try multiple dishes and flavours in one meal, although truth be told, I tend to gravitate back towards favourites. In particular, "Bistec tartar de wagyu", which is the spicy steak tartare. This dish is phenomenal, peppery and full of flavour. The only tartare I've had that rivals this dish was from Cafe Claude, SF. Nowhere else has ever managed the flavour that MoVida manages to put into this dish.

The poor man's potatoes and the capsicum and tomato salad were some of our side dishes (our reliable regular choices as well). And for dessert... seriously, how can you ever pass up churros? A dish that combines chocolate AND donuts? Works for me.

It was almost a pity that we had to be out by 8pm ahead of the next sitting (and our comedy show)... but I think if I sat there for too long, I'd eat my way through the menu, and end up as a penniless lump of Spanish goodness.

The Easter comedy bunny

2007-04-22T20:28:00.000+10:00

I love Easter in Melbourne... not only because of the chocolate (definitely not enough this year, I need to learn to buy myself some), but because of the comedy festival.

Just walking around town each night, the streets are full of happy people (well, happy people, as well as the usual annoying people, and perhaps some happy people who are annoying as well) going to, and coming from, comedy shows. It really gives Melbourne a great vibe, and I love heading into town to grab some food, have a drink and see a show. The weather always seem to help out too, with those mild Melbourne autumn evenings.

I've long since found my perfect comedy festival groove... about 5 or 6 shows each year, mainly comedians from England, Scotland and Ireland. Something about the humour from that part of the globe really amuses me. (Although, I have to say, that perhaps due to my regular attendance each year, I am becoming somewhat immune to certain jokes and delivery styles - I need to hear and see something really unique to get me laughing heartily).

The line-up so far this year?

Jason Byrne - very crazy man-child. Manic, rambling delivery, quite rude and odd at times, but very funny. If he visits next year, I'll be there again.
Stephen K Amos - pretty funny, but a little bit hit or miss. He had a strange crowd on the night I saw him, including the insane laughing and clapping woman near me, who, surprisingly enough, laughed and clapped loudly (and alone) after almost every line.
Danny Bhoy - delivers his comedy with such a friendly demeanour, that it is hard not to like him. Kept me laughing across a show mainly about experiences in Australia, which can sometimes get dull in someone else's hands.

And still to come...
Daniel Kitson - delivered one of the best shows I've ever seen a few years ago, but hasn't found the same spark in recent years. Hope he fires up again.
Fiona O'Loughlin - always funny on tv, looking forward to her show.

(I do feel a little guilty for not seeing Ross Noble this year... he is still a favourite, but I was definitely developing comedy immunity there, so I hope a year off will do me well for next year...)

Movie mania

2007-04-22T20:00:00.000+10:00

There's been a few film releases of late that I've been quite enthusiastic about, unlike a few months ago when there was absolutely nothing around.

300 - 300 was pretty awesome. Who doesn't like guys with swords destroying their enemies with skill, enthusiasm and the removal of limbs and heads? I was impressed with the CGI effects, washing the palette out into primarily browns and greys to mimic the graphic novel style of the source material - it certainly changes the viewing experience for the viewer compared to normal. I loved the amount of controversy, complaints and bad reviews this film got - can't anyone just go to the movies to have fun anymore?

Priceless - I used to want to punch Audrey Tautou in the face ever since I saw the promo poster for Amelie - she just exuded annoying-ness. Not sure I want to do that now, she was good in this movie. A French comedy (if the poster wasn't obvious enough), Priceless was great fun, and pretty amusing too.

Sunshine - This was a strange mix of 2001 and Event Horizon, with a twist of "save the world from freezing over by re-igniting the sun". Slow-paced and tense, it was almost ruined by the poor quality of the film we saw... scratches and lines across the entire screen affected some of the slow pans across the spacecraft and the face of the sun (kind of important in a film called "Sunshine"). I wouldn't say it was a "fun" film, but I certainly enjoyed it and it did have me on the edge of my seat, trying to figure out what would come next; again, it was something a little different to the multiplex cinema norm.

And the next few months are even better for movies (thank you, US summer)...

- Shrek the Third, Pirates of the Caribbean; At World's End, Ocean's 13, Spiderman 3, Live Free or Die Hard, 28 Weeks Later, Transformers, Blades of Glory, The Simpsons Movie -

The movie geek within is stirring...

Glacier Point

2007-04-22T19:27:00.000+10:00

I saw this t-shirt as part of a 2 for $35 deal at JeansWest the other day (decent place for cheapo, everyday wear when it comes to t-shirts...).

OK, so it's a green t-shirt, with a bit of a cliched worn graphic, probably too fuzzy to even read here ("Yosemite" and "Glacier Point" is the main text). Not really stylish. Normally... yeah... whatever.

But...

Glacier Point is actually one of the most spectacular places I've ever been to in my life (these are some of the views from the lookout)... I know the t-shirt is isn't authentic or anything, but it would still be a nice reminder of a breath-taking moment.

I might buy it...

Where is my mind?

2007-04-05T23:19:00.000+10:00

Well, to be accurate, my mind probably keeps drifting back to the Pixies gig last night at the Music Bowl.

Fanboy time... they were pretty awesome, probably one of the few remaining acts in my catalogue of favourite bands that I hadn't yet had the chance to see live. They played an efficient set, song after song churned out.

Loud, soft, loud. But that's how they are.

Definitely a few goosebump moments, hearing a few particular tracks (Debaser, Monkey Gone to Heaven...) and seeing the reaction of the crowd to each song. We had great seats (yep, seats at the bowl - thank you Ticketmaster pre-sales) slightly to the right and two rows back into the second block of sets... better than the front sets, because we didn't have anyone in front of us; a nice, uninterrupted view for all of us, tall and short.

Wasn't sure how they would sound... Frank Black (is that his name these days, I can't keep up?) "talked" the first few lines of Bone Machine as the gig started, so I was worried how the rest of the set would sound - but no problems there, especially some of his screams. Was Kim "as cool as Kim Deal"? Yeah, although she didn't have much vocabulary beyond "thanks". But what definitely got me worried was when one of several inflatable beach balls got up and stage and Monkey Gone to Heaven got stopped because "the Pixies draw the line at beach balls". Fair enough too. I was seriously stressed that they would just walk off... but instead they had a conversation about how to restart the show, and then really loosened up.

Can I just say though, best of the V Festival... cheapo "festival" of the year. Minimal food choice, a single ridiculous bar area without much of a view (sardine tin, really - lucky I didn't bother going in)... a bunch of friends having a picnic in the park could almost do better. I suspect many punters were turned off by the price, despite having the Pixies on the line-up... it certainly didn't seem full at the bowl. They would have still made a mint though over the two nights. The two things that summed up the non-music aspects of the festival...
i. a guy who walked in ahead of me and I heard say "oh, I thought it was sponsored by Channel V", and
ii. the afore-mentioned beach balls messing up the Pixies... officially sponsored beach balls, complete with corporate logos of the festival sponsors.
Seriously, you idiots...

Please do not try this at home

2007-04-03T21:06:00.000+10:00

Yes, it's that time of year again. No, I'm not referring to autumn, or to Easter. I am, of course, talking about Wrestlemania, the biggest night of the year in the circus that is "sports entertainment". In case you didn't already realise, I'm a bit of a fan of the action and soap opera drama inside (and out) of the squared circle. No one quite does over-the-top athletic craziness and entertaining characters better than wrestling... so what's not to like??

Last night we went to a bit of a Wrestlemania party...

Dinner. Check. Drinks. Check. Junk food. Check. Wrestlemania on PPV. Check.

It was awesome.

I won't bore you with the details (if you're a fan, you'll already know them), but it was a night of body-slamming, ladder-crashing, head-shaving, midget-crushing, worm-eating, stone cold stunning insanity... insanity.

And yes, wrestling may be fake. But some of it is still pretty real...

A glass and a half for the spirit

2007-03-28T15:51:00.000+10:00

A friend recently described chocolate as being "aspirin for a headache of the soul".

Quite poetic. And quite frustrating... I am now into day 2 of mad chocolate (and sugar) cravings which I am trying hard to avoid so that my trip to the gym last night wasn't in vain.

So hot right now

2007-03-23T13:30:00.000+11:00

I got this on email yesterday, it made me laugh. And every word of it is true.

Postcards from Noosa

2007-03-19T19:26:00.000+11:00

The view out towards the mouth of the Noosa River...

The view from our apartment...

Sunset over the Noosa River...

Holiday thoughts to follow soon...

Caught by the fuzz

2007-03-11T13:18:00.000+11:00

Went and saw an advanced screening of "Hot Fuzz" last night, the new buddy-cop film by the guys who did "Shaun of the Dead". Short answer - this film is great. Absurdly over-the-top action, a great sense of English comic timing, and a beautiful understanding of action film cliches. Haven't laughed this hard at a movie in quite a while.
I noticed in the paper this morning that the director and two main stars are at ACMI at Fed Square tonight for a Q&A together with a screening - I reckon that would be a riot.

Where's Wally?

2007-03-11T12:55:00.000+11:00

Apologies, the blog has been neglected of late. It's not that I haven't had the free time, it's just that nothing truly exciting or newsworthy has been happening. Boredom at work has crept into boredom on the blog...

Can't even really remember what I've been up to, but I'll try...

... slowly building up a regular gym schedule (which has been strange for someone so anti-gym for so long). But it has been good; gradually strengthening my ankle, as well as developing at least a hint of fitness, and perhaps if I'm lucky, dropping a touch of flab too.
... getting addicted to Crackdown on my Xbox 360. There is something extraordinarily childish, yet entertaining, in watching your super-hero cop character leap between tall buildings in a single bound, and throw buses around like they were a tennis ball. They don't call it CRACKdown for nothing.

... and oh yeah, and I've been doing something between 9 and 5 most weekdays.

Hmm, must be boring if that's all I can remember filling my time with. The coming weeks are much better though; here's the highlight reel for the next few weeks...
- Holiday in Noosa
- Comedy Festival
- Special guest stars back in town from overseas
- Wrestlemania
- Another home-grown trivia night
- The Pixies @ Best of V Festival

I got donuts

2007-02-20T16:20:00.000+11:00

No, not the good kind of donuts... like Spanish churros and chocolate sauce... or the best donut I've ever eaten (a vanilla-glazed square donut filled with orange-raspberry jam from a tiny donut shop in the Lower East Side, NY).

I got donuts as in I got nothing. By now, you all know my best blog story ever. The story doesn't end as well as it started... I never heard back, was never given the opportunity to be "proved wrong".

All talk, no action.

Cheers to PB for the inspiration for this post.

CDO

2007-02-13T15:25:00.000+11:00

This may not surprise those who know me, but I tend to exhibit some significant obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) tendencies in my day-to-day life... I repeatedly check that I have locked the door to the apartment or my car, turned off an electrical device, or line up the mail/TV remote/drink coasters etc. parallel/perpendicular with the edges of coffee table; these are just some examples.

Unfortunately, aspects of this behaviour have recently crept into my time while at work, fueled in part by the fact that my days are extraordinarily boring at the moment. I continually visit and re-visit websites, waiting for new news, stories, reviews, entries, comments, images, whatever might sate my thirst for something to keep my mind occupied for another few minutes. The ludicrous thing is that I'll be disappointed if there isn't anything new, despite the fact I checked the same site 15 minutes ago. My attention span is too quick for the world to keep up.

I think I need to divert my mind to other tasks while at work, that aren't repetitious interweb surfing otherwise I might just fall into a catatonic state of laptop screen staring and mouse-clicking. (And please don't suggest that I actually do work, that's just crazy talk - I'm talking about the other 35 hours a week that I'm not being productive). What can I do, especially within the confines of the office environment?

And why CDO, not OCD? Well, the joke is pretty old now... because it is alphabetical.

These boots are made for walking

2007-02-06T21:31:00.000+11:00

Imagine these with a blue sole and some electric blue trim. My new treads...

Like walking on clouds.

We're in this together

2007-02-06T21:19:00.000+11:00

Last week I was sad. This week I'm happier. Why? Because, this band...

...is not only releasing a new album, Year Zero, in April, but they are also touring Melbourne in May.

I will DEFINITELY be in town for this.

Swings and roundabouts...

Bringing sexy back

2007-01-30T14:44:00.000+11:00

This makes me want to cry.

Eagles of Death Metal, live on March 16th @ The Palace.

They're bringing the sexy, and I won't be there.

Damn Noosa for the allure of holiday goodness. Once again, the universe is out to get me; can't have fun without a trade-off.

Fish for thought

2007-01-25T15:07:00.000+11:00

Since it has been so long since my last restaurant review, I thought it would be appropriate to write about our latest culinary experience, at Toofey's in Carlton. I knew about Toofey's existence, and knew it was a fish/seafood restaurant, but that was about it.

We headed into Carlton last Saturday evening, experiencing the rare feeling of running through pouring rain while trying to catch a taxi. We were having pre-dinner drinks at Markov Place, quite a nice bar just across the road from the restaurant that seemed to be channelling a bit of a Melbourne CBD bar vibe, hiding away down a laneway. I tried a refreshing mix of green apple vodka, ginger ale and lime that, quite frankly, I could have kept drinking all night. The green apple vodka was surprisingly just a Smirnoff flavour; I'll have to track that one down, the aroma was spectacular.

The drinking continued at Toofey's, where the inability of some of us to decide on a pre-food drink meant we ended up ordering of bottle of Veuve Clicquot for the table. It took us a while to actually order our food, deciding on an appropriate combination of dishes was quite difficult.

In the end, I went for the kingfish carpaccio for entree, and the seared atlantic salmon with green curry for main. The entree was light, but very flavoursome. The kingfish had a similar consistency to tuna, and it was drizzled with a wasabi mayo and soy. The salmon was cooked perfectly, still tender and pink in the middle, and the bite to the green curry provided a nice contrast.

If our entree and mains took a while to order, our dessert took even longer... the decisions on the dessert menu were even more difficult. In the end, a good assortment of dishes we chosen around the table, including a banana and walnut pudding, a passionfruit souffle and a cheese platter. Personally, I went for the Valrhona chocolate plate (apparently "ideal for two") after seeing it delivered to another table. Wow. The plate contained 4 tastes, including a chocolate and Baileys mini-milkshake, a chocolate pudding, a chocolate mousse and a chocolate mini-ice cream cone filled with honeycomb ice cream. I'll let you make up your own mind as to whether that sounds good! This was accompanied by a bottle of dessert wine (for the table, not just for me).

All in all, I was very impressed by not only the quality of the food, but the quality of the service as well. Courteous but not intrusive, and no missed drinks or dishes confused between diners.

Almost four hours later, as the last of the diners left in the restaurant, we stumbled out into the street and found our way home, sleepy and content.

It's always funny until someone gets hurt...

2007-01-23T10:54:00.000+11:00

This article, in Epicure today, discusses the history and properties of cachaca, the Brazilian national drink. Apparently, cachaca is not rum, but a close relative.

I prefer to remember cachaca by my pet name of "Brazilian crazy rum".

The article warns that "cachaca packs a punch", since it has typically between 38 and 51% alcohol. Oops, a bit late for that advice.

I drank cachaca at my birthday party. In 2005.
There was still some cachaca left in the bottle by the end of the night. About one standard drink worth.
It was a Saturday night. I didn't get to work until Tuesday.

Apart from my pre-Christmas dalliance with a bottle of Bacardi Oro, I've hardly drunk heavily in over 18 months, since that incident.

Cachaca, my friend and enemy.

Twenty seven (maths) problems

2007-01-18T11:36:00.000+11:00

I used to be good at maths. That's why this amuses me so much.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, twenty seven problems.

Vegas, baby, Vegas

2007-01-17T08:56:00.001+11:00

I'm not usually a spontaneous kind of guy. I like (most) of my life reasonably planned and known. That's why yesterday afternoon was a bit of a rush... sitting at my desk, procrastinating by internet browsing and finalising my dead pool list, when into my email box popped an innocent little email proclaiming cheap Virgin Blue flights. Hmmm. Flights means travelling away from work. Away from work means holiday. HOLIDAY. Boo yaa.

Run the idea past J-star, get the verbal ok for annual leave from my manager and half an hour later... Noosa, baby, Noosa.

I only have to wait for 2 more months...

Oh s**t moment of the day

2007-01-10T22:57:00.000+11:00

In a conversation in a meeting yesterday afternoon, we casually asked a colleague "so what's your project all about then?". We got a 30 minute overview that thoroughly scared us off and made us realise he was managing probably the largest project our business unit had ever tried to deliver. Fortunately, we were able to laugh uncomfortably and wipe our brows in relief that we didn't have to try and do that work.

Today my manager told me that my new piece of work would be replacing my colleague and managing the afore-mentioned mega-project. D'oh.

I can manage me. Just. I'm not so sure about managing multiple people across multiple business units in a project with a cost containing many multiple zeros...

New Year's revolution

2007-01-02T13:25:00.000+11:00

The universe and I obviously still have some unresolved issues to deal with.

After a pretty shocking second half of 2006 (in particular health-wise), I figured things could only get better for 2007. Ha, yeah right.

Things were looking up on Saturday; I managed to win fourth division in Tattslotto (although, obviously, I would have loved first division!), and I thought my year might end on a high.

By Sunday, things were rapidly heading downhill; splitting headache, hot/cold shivers and all the rest. So my New Years Eve was spent huddled on the couch, cursing the universe, rather than out partying. I hoped I might have perked up a bit by New Years Day, but no, I was feeling even worse. Back aches, stiff joints, burning eyes. So my New Years Day was spent huddled on the couch, cursing the universe, rather than out at the Hanging Rock races.

Worst New Year ever.

Anyone have a good New Year? Anyone make any interesting NY resolutions? No resolutions here, just a hope that 2007 improves...

Post-Christmas lunch

2006-12-27T15:58:00.000+11:00

OK, so after just finishing a post about a great, excessive lunch only a few days after a period of time known for excessive consumption of food and drink, what would make sense to write about next? More food, of course.

I just spent the morning hitting up M-town for sales bargains (40% at Ben Sherman? Hello...) and was meeting J-star for lunch. Away from the major shops, the streets were rather quiet and we were feeling rather indecisive about our lunch venue. Feeling extravagant since my credit card had been slipping so easily out of my wallet all morning, I suggested we walk past one of the happiest places on earth... Becco. If you like classy, well-made Italian food in a stylish venue, there are few places around nicer than Becco.

A short review this time...
Main course - Tagliata; char-grilled rare porterhouse with capers, spanish onion and wild rocket (accompanied by a rocket, radicchio and cherry tomato side salad). A heavy duty red meat dish, with the porterhouse cooked to a nice rare to slightly medium rare consistency, with a nice charred, peppery crust.

Dessert - Vanilla pot with passsionfruit jelly. A small pot of vanilla bean-flavoured custard/pannacotta/mousse "stuff", covered with a layer of tangy, thick passionfruit jelly. Delicious.

I love food. I love holidays.

Christmas lunch

2006-12-26T18:47:00.000+11:00

All this Christmas business over the last few days has diverted me from my intended task of posting about our Christmas lunch last week for work. Hmmm, doesn't sound too exciting, a work lunch, but there is a bit of history here. (Note: this isn't an "official" lunch, this is simply the exploits of me and a few culinarily enthusiastic work colleagues).

Two years ago, we had a shocking Christmas party for work, so a few of us compensated by having a extra long, boozy lunch at a South Melbourne pub the day after. Last year, we went to Tolarno. This year, we thought we'd celebrate in style... Christmas lunch at Circa. Oh yeah.

We started our sunny Wednesday afternoon with a round of cocktails, mine was a lovely cinnamon and pear number. We then got straight in to drooling over the menu. I went light for my entree, with a vegetarian dish - pressed tomato with grilled shallot, Italian buffalo mozzarella and white tomato cream. It was very fresh, very tasty and very colorful (almost festive); white for the cheese and cream, yellow and red for the tomatoes, green for the lettuce. In particular, the layers of pressed tomato and shallot was intense in flavour, while the mozzarella was quite delicate.

There was method to my entree selection... my main course was a grilled rib eye with bearnaise sauce - the other end of the food spectrum! Wow. The meat was cooked medium rare, so it was still just pink and juicy in the middle. And the taste, oh, the taste... melt-in-the-mouth juicy, fatty, delicious beef. All accompanied by a lovely shared bottle of red.

Since we were well and truly on the path of lunchtime extravagance, we shared a bottle of dessert wine with our dessert. I chose the lemon verbena pannacotta, a light and tangy way to finish the meal. This was accompanied by either peach or nectarine (can't remember) and yellow (!) raspberries. Delicious.

So what was the point of this post? Not sure, beyond reminiscing about more lovely food. And a great lead-in to my next post... my post-Christmas lunch! (Sense a theme...?)

Ho ho huh?

2006-12-19T22:52:00.000+11:00

Anyone receive/give/hear about any worthy Kris Kringle presents this year?

We had a KK at work... I received two rubber stamps from ThinkGeek - "I haven't got time to read this CRAP" and "This is F**KING URGENT". Awesome.

There was an assortment of presents at our Christmas party... from the normal (cook book, mug and hot chocolate set) to the geeky (desk-based rocket launcher) to the humourous (megaphone for the woman with the hoarse voice) to the the extreme (an erotic inflatable love piggie).

Under the influence

2006-12-19T22:14:00.000+11:00

I blame one thing only...

[EDIT: ... a bottle of Bacardi Oro... (Blogger has messed up my image of a bottle)]

I was partying, Christmas-style, last Friday night with a number of work colleagues, and with my good friend Bacardi, at a house BBQ. It was the "pre-work Christmas party Christmas party". I had a good time, a very good time. Me and the Smack-ardi (cut with pineapple juice, Bacardi is very addictive) hit it off. I remember starting the bottle; hell, I even remember finishing it. But some of the minor details in between got a little fuzzy... like the drunken voicemail left on the mobile of a friend who didn't make the bbq, mainly involving me yelling over the top of the person actually making the call... and like when the trash talking between work friends somehow ended in the threat of a "dance-off" to prove who had the best moves. Hmmm, that just smells of trouble, doesn't it.

I spent most of Saturday in what could best be described as a "delicate" state.

Saturday night rolls around, and it is time for the work Christmas party. By this stage, I'm feeling great. Except for the sledgehammer pounding the back of my skull. The party is ok... average bar in Southbank, poor nibbles but at least the alcohol is free. Oh, that's right, I'm a wreck, so I'm not drinking.

During the course of the evening, some smart-alec, sober(ish) person (not entirely sure who), manages to mention the trash-talking and dance-off challenge of the previous night to assorted senior work folk, particularly those in charge of the "happy end of year work congratulations" and the Kris Kringle. Oops. You know how the story goes... the music is turned up, the crowd is chanting, (we somehow get a third participant in the challenge) and somehow a bad movie cliche has become my life.

How does it end? Would I disappoint you? Of course not. Winner, by unanimous crowd verdict...

Me.

Rock the house.

Quick hits

2006-12-10T22:05:00.000+11:00

Before I go...

...if you called your baby daughter "Dezyre", what sort of life would she lead?

...if you had to buy a $20 Kris Kringle for a childish and arrogant, but entertaining, male work colleague, what would you buy?

...is it wrong to enjoy watching "So you Think You Can Dance?"

How I operate

2006-12-10T21:04:00.000+11:00

So it has been two weeks since my last post. Nothing much has changed since then, I've actually been pretty busy without having too much interesting to add... a few highlights though...

Saw DJ Krush a week and a half back, at the Prince of Wales. He's a Japanese "instrumental hip hop" DJ/producer, playing a lot of laidback, chilled beats, good for both late night kicking back or casual background tunes. Great gig, I've missed him several times over the past few years so I was glad to finally catch him live; unlike many DJs, he was actually busy behind the decks, scratching, mixing and messing with the tempo. His gig even branched into some hectic drum'n'bass.

Spent a day or so up in, of all places, Wollongong, for work. It was only for one night and one day, but it was a fun excursion... nice to be out of the office, see some different scenery. The trip reminded me of how I dislike Sydney though; I'm not sure why, but I always feel very claustrophobic and stressed when I am in Sydney, even if it is just while I'm in a car traveling somewhere else. I had a good meal overlooking the beach the night I was up in Wollongong, and then headed back to my "work-approved" accommodation, which typically, included a double bed that was too short for me, a TV with bad reception and bad technicolour manchester. I forced myself to get up early (these days, early is before 7am), and I went and had pancakes for breakfast down at a cafe on the beach foreshore. More than anything else on my trip away (more than the flights and packing a bag), this meal made me feel like I was on holiday...a lovely summer morning, waves gently crashing on the sand. Mae the rest of my day pretty easy, which is good, because most of it was spent traveling around steel mills and related heavy industry.

The reason I was up in Wollongong was that I'm currently engaged in a small "IT consulting" style project (yep, back to consulting, I'm one of those twits), for an actual customer, not just my regular employer. This is quite unique for me since, for the last few years, the vast majority of my work has been for internal business units of the company that I work for, rather than external clients. So it is nice to face a new (small) challenge. But it has made me realise that, despite all my best efforts to slack off and take it easy while at work, I'm actually quite good at my job (otherwise I wouldn't have been the one going to Wollongong), and I think our customer sees that too. What all that means is that perhaps the new year will be the right time for me to stretch my legs a little and test the waters beyond my current employment.. stagnation does no one any favours, and I can't really see my current level in the organisation, nor my salary, changing very much unless I do something about it. The good aspect about this is that I don't particularly feel that I HAVE to move jobs (in amongst the somewhat repetitious workload, I do get to interact with a number of outstandingly good-value people who have become close friends), which I think is in fact the best time to move jobs since there is no pressure on you; you can take time to write the CV, source some opportunities and take any interviews in a more relaxed manner, which I find ends up more successful any way.
So bring on the new year, and we'll see what new opportunities arise (perhaps I should check my long term horoscope in the newspaper ;-) )...

Bring that beat back

2006-11-27T19:08:00.000+11:00

Busy. Tired. Tired. Busy.

That time of year, I'm afraid.

Hectic weekend, biggest two nights out that I've had since... since... well, probably since the first half of this year. Cocktails, Martinis, Tequila, Cowboys, Bacardi, Jager-bombs. Ouch.

No hangovers, but extreme tiredness, definitely. And it'll just keep going this week... DJ Krush on Thursday, a work Christmas party on Friday and a wedding on Saturday.

Will post more once I'm energised a little bit more.

Hot off the presses

2006-11-18T17:33:00.000+11:00

As mentioned as coming soon in previous posts, I wined and dined at The Press Club last night.

Short review; food was delicious, service was average.

The restaurant itself is pretty slick; lots of dark colours, sharp modern lines, an open kitchen, and some big windows looking out towards Exhibition and Flinders Sts. The table set-up seems pretty flexible - we had 6 at our table, but other tables had anything from 2 to 8 or 10 people pretty comfortably. (Actually, now that I think about it, I did find the actual chairs/table set-up reasonably comfortable - I didn't get particularly fidgety or on edge at all, which I usually do by the end of a big meal courtesy of my long legs and a general lack of leg space in fine dining establishments). The menus are on a single large cardboard sheet, with a layout definitely influenced by newspapers.

The first signs of underwhelming service were when I received my pre-dinner drink in a short glass, rather than tall glass, despite the waitress specifically asking if I wanted a tall glass (and me saying yes), as well as a description of the menu that ended up with me being more confused rather than less (an attempt to describe the entree/main/dessert versus sharing plates). Unfortunately, this trend continued through the night... drinks forgotten or taking an awful long time, loads of time taken to clear away finished dishes, a long wait with the menus before someone took our dessert orders. Perhaps they were only teething problems - I certainly hope they work them out soon. It didn't turn me off, it just left a slightly sour memory of the night.

Anyway, on to the positive - the food. These was probably some of my favourite dishes of the year, easily up there with choice dishes from Taxi, Pearl and Becco during 2006. I was doubly impressed since, as much as I love my food, I can be a little picky when it comes to avoiding prawn/scallop/oyster types of seafood and there were some of these options on the menu, so I had to choose carefully.

I chose the salad of cumin roasted beetroot, pistachio biscuit, yoghurt cheese and honey for my entree. The beetroot had a lovely intense flavour, with each mouthful finishing with a distinct cumin flavour. The pistachio biscuit was more like a mini-pistachio sponge cake with a slightly firm/crisp outside... sweet, spongy and delicious. The yoghurt cheese rolled in herbs and the drizzle of honey complimented the rest of the dish beautifully.

For my main course, I chose the seared salmon with cauliflower cream and a moussaka cigar. Wow. Easily one of the most perfectly cooked pieces of salmon I have ever eaten, still moist and rare inside, slightly crispy and salty skin, and a lovely delicate taste. The salmon fillet was in a "puddle" of cauliflower cream - like a smooth and creamy cauliflower-flavoured sauce. Tasty, but subtle enough to compliment the salmon, not overpower it. For a different texture, a flaky pastry "cigar" with moussaka filling was on the side. The dish was topped off with a passionfruit sauce, adding a slight tang. Top marks.

Dessert was a rich, intense and divine chocolate souffle, with cinnamon ice cream and what was listed as sour cherry jam but seemed to be more chocolate (with a gold leaf sprinkle). The souffle was an impressive size, and was a decadent mix of fluffy, spongy souffle and oozing chocolate.

So, in summary, the food did not disappoint (we could even see head chef George Calombaris running things in the kitchen, complete with surprisingly shaved head), but the service was not quite up to scratch when compared to some of the slick operations at other restaurants we've dined at this year. But don't let that put you off... the food was well and truly worth a visit to the Press Club.

Showing my age?

2006-11-18T17:01:00.000+11:00

Two things I just wanted to comment on... perhaps these topics show my age? My slow loss of coolness? I don't know.

1. Why the f*ck can't anyone younger than me spell properly any more? Seriously. It isn't even just spelling, it is general grammar and comprehensibility. Sure, I'm occasionally guilty of messing around with words ("'cause" instead of "because", and often "kinda" instead of "kind of"), but just reading the extreme ineptitude of the wording of messages on Myspace pages (or watching that Vodafone ad with the girl who only speaks in acronyms, or reaing that schools in NZ were going to allow "text-speak" in exam answers...) makes my head want to explode. If I ever create my own Myspace space, I'd ban anyone who ever left a mess of a message...substituting "8" for an word with "ate" in it, or "luv" instead of "love", all of it. What freaks me out is the fact that it probably takes longer to type words incorrectly (on a keyboard or mobile phone keypad) as opposed to just typing them correctly, or letting predictive text or spell check clean everything up. Even more worrying is if spelling like this comes naturally to these kids... then we are developing entire generations of complete linguistic f*ck-ups. Bodes well for the future of the human race.

2. Guys and their narrow, tight jeans these days. I'm not going to try and analyse the what/why of this "fashion" trend (I'll leave that to those more qualified than I - Footpath Zeitgeist) but what really freaks me out is that, after the world has somewhat calmed down with the hip-hop culture-influenced baggy jean trend, stick figure guys are busting out the narrow leg denim with the crotch hanging somewhere near their knees. What is the point of this look? On what planet of what universe does this look good? I don't get it... they certainly aren't doing it to display stylish underwear or a ripped chest (unless you count an emaciated rib cage as buff). The only thing it looks like is that they couldn't get to the bathroom in time and went in their pants instead, and without a belt, it is starting to drag their pants down...

How a stupid door policy almost f*cked up my night a.k.a dealings with Miss Door Bitch

2006-11-12T17:08:00.000+11:00

OK, so last night I was heading into to Honkytonks to go for one last dance (ankle permitting) before they close at the end of the year (yeah, I know, you can see where this story is going already). Heaps of people have different views on HTs... some love it, some hate it. I've never had a bad night there, but that's mainly because I make sure I laugh at the collar-up guys, watch the drunks with intrigue as they try and find the correct bathroom, and generally just bust out on the dancefloor and try to avoid the attitude. I just wanted to make sure I had that one last night out there; besides, I'm getting old, I don't manage to go "clubbing" much any more.

So where was I? Yep, we were cruising into town, detoured to Loop to have a quick drink before heading to HTs a bit after 10pm. We wandered down the lane, pretty much no one else is sight... looking quiet, it was pretty early, even the door folk were sitting on the stairs. We say hello as Miss Door Bitch wanders up and replies "are you on a guest list? sorry, guest list only tonight"...

WTF? Seriously? Now I've been knocked back maybe once or twice from Honkytonks before (in a crowd of like 10 people once, on a very busy night another time), and had the occasional bit of trouble getting in, but we've never been knocked back on that old classic, the flimsy guest list pretense. Bullsh*t. There was nothing special on that night. There probably weren't even 10 people inside yet.

I don't claim to be the greatest kid on the block, but I'm not quite out of it enough to warrant that sort of behaviour (well, maybe I am and I just don't know it??)... I'm shallow enough to wear the funky threads and do the messy hair thing. In Miss Door Bitch's defence, she doesn't know that I've been there like dozens of times before, that I'll be out on the dancefloor before most, that I even bought the Honyktonks mix cd the other day 'cause I do in fact go for the music, not just to pose. But even still, she could have been a little more lenient. She was just too cool for school (actually she was looking pretty old, trashy and try-hard; no surprise there - but I guess the Saturday night power trip is all she's got going for her... oooh, burn).

Beautiful way to ruin a legacy of great nights there with a final memory of such poor form. Part of me is still keen to go (maybe next weekend, for Steve Bug...?), part of me just wants to vent some more (they have an enquiries email address on the website), and part of me just doesn't care (f*ck 'em all).

And how did the night end? Not too badly actually - we went back to Loop, got the alcove facing out on to Meyers Place, dranks apple martinis all night and watched the world go by...

Is this a food blog?

2006-11-12T16:12:00.000+11:00

Once again, I find myself writing about food... this is definitely becoming a theme.

I just got back from lunch at the Botanical; a nice, casual pre-Christmas catch-up Sunday lunch with a few old work friends. The food was great, I'm not entirely sure I'll need dinner tonight! I decided to limit myself a little bit, and so I only indulged in entree and main (no dessert, although I was definitely tempted). I started with the smoked spiced salt and pepper calamari with roasted almond aioli - soft, tasty calamari with a nice smoky tang to it. For mains, I succumbed to the temptation of the wagyu beef, and had the Botanical wagyu burger with fried duck egg and crispy pancetta. Even my much-vaunted burger eating technicque couldn't handle the burger stack, and I had to deconstruct it with knife and fork. The burger itself was delicious, while the accompaniments (rocket, egg, pancetta, dressing etc.) worked really well.

This is turning out to be a heavy (literally) duty festive season already, and it isn't even December yet.

Awesome

2006-11-09T23:47:00.000+11:00

Apologies... double geek out moment; embedding a YouTube video for the first time, and the Gears of War trailer.

Food for thought

2006-11-05T22:52:00.000+11:00

I'm on a bit of a food bender at the moment; both at home, and out at the glorious restaurants around Melbourne. I've already mentioned the "at home" aspect, mainly courtesy of Ready Steady Cook, now for the "going out" aspect...

We went to Libertine in North Melbourne on Friday night, for delicious French food and wine. The restaurant itself is rather small and quaint; we sat upstairs next to a fireplace (fortunately not working or we would have been the ones cooking). The food itself was delicious; it was the "spring menu", so the dishes were hearty without being too heavy. I started with pressed pork belly with apple and crackling for entree, followed by seared tuna in a hock consomme for main, and a callebaut dark chocolate and hazelnut pithivier for dessert. All the courses were worthy, but the dessert was something else entirely - quite thick, firm pastry in a "pie" type shape, filled with molten dark chocolate and hazelnut pieces. Wow. I also sampled a wide array of beverages... champagne, red and white wine, and even a sherry (with dessert) - all at the recommendation of our waiter, and all very well chosen (as I had hoped and expected - Libertine won best short wine list in The Age Good Food Guide awards this year). Highly recommended.

Looking ahead, I'm off in 2 weeks to The Press Club (in the Herald Sun building on the corner of Flinders and Exhibition Sts), which is the new endeavour of George Calombaris, who did Reserve at Fed Square (which I unfortunately never tried) and who also regularly appears on Ready Steady Cook. His creations always look and sound delicious, and somewhat creative, so I'm definitely looking forward to our meal at Press Club.

I'm also keen to try Gingerboy, which is the recently opened offshoot from Ezard.

Busy eating times ahead.
(Fortunately, in my line of work as an all-round lazy slacker, the post-eating exercise is optional... but probably recommended).

WIP

2006-10-31T22:59:00.000+11:00

As per usual, I'm struck down by decision paralysis... I'm updating the blog, but I can't decide on a template, a colour scheme or anything. For the moment, this will do as a placeholder. I want to create a look and feel that I'm happy with - the obsessive compulsive in me screams minimal, monochromatic colours, straight lines, while the creative streak wants pictures, colours, something personal and interesting.

For anyone reading this, any preferences on the template style?

Images

2006-10-30T22:04:00.000+11:00

Just because I haven't tried uploading any images to my blog yet, let's see what happens...

Orchids @ Conservatory of Flowers, Golden Gate Park, San Francisco

Hmm, not bad. Expect to see some visuals from now on...

Back to the grindstone

2006-10-30T21:41:00.000+11:00

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end.

My recovery time (read: couch time) from the surgery is at an end, and today was the first day back at work. It was a pretty slow, dull day, especially considering all the stresses and hectic workload prior to my surgery. I think it'll be like this until well into the New Year. Slow times ahead... I think I'll shift the brain down a gear or two. 9am - 5pm days for me!

One good thing about being back at work is that I am healthy enough again to start getting out and about. As much as tv, the interweb, and the Xbox kept me company, sometimes fresh air and people is the way to go. My extra time with the tv has given me a new injection of enthusiasm for food and cooking, mainly courtesy of 8 days worth of Ready Steady Cook episodes. I made a delicious spaghetti with chicken, wilted spinach and a creamy peppercorn sauce last night. And the good food shall continue... dinner this Friday at... a nice restaurant (sorry, still a secret - will be revealed soon), dinner in a fortnight at The Press Club.

I also discovered a bit of a greenthumb... I spent my afternoon yesterday carting potting mix, wandering through a nursery and re-potting palm trees. The balcony garden is looking like even more of a jungle, it's great.

In other news, my obsessive compulsive streak is becoming irritated by some of the colour/formatting/images on this blog template - will have to turn on the geek soon and see what changes I can perform. Of course, Murphy's Law dictates at least part of this blog will end up completely mangled/deleted/emailed to someone in Nigeria/translated into Spanish or just plain lost in the internet ether. Internether. My word for the day.

And in my random though for the day... in this world of media cross-promotion and seasonal fashions, how long will it be before Christmas and Christmas decorations bleed into the Spring Racing Carnival, leading to the roses at Flemington being replaced by mini Christmas trees and the latest in ladies' headwear being a red sock-like hat with a white pom-pom?

Samson, 2006 AD

2006-10-23T20:33:00.000+10:00

The goatee is gone.

I shaved it off during preparations for my surgery. Now, I'm not entirely certain if it shall return. I'm still an unshaven lout, though.

For those of you who have never seen me without, don't worry, I'm still as handsome as ever. Only time will tell if my superhuman strength is now gone though.

And then the stripper said...

2006-10-17T21:37:00.000+10:00

Went to a buck's party last Thursday night. Ended up at a strip joint, as you do.

I kept my own counsel for the evening, quietly drinking with a fellow non-participant. Surprisingly (or maybe not, I don't know), no girls came up to me for the vast majority of the night. (Maybe they sensed they'd get nowhere, I dunno?).

Anyway, about 20 minutes before we left, one girl comes over and asks me if I'd like a dance. I politely decline with several comebacks, including "no thanks", "not interested" and "only got cab money".

And then the stripper said...
"Story of my night. Tighter than a virgin's a$$hole".

Trash-talked. By a stripper.

Hospitals have the best drugs...

2006-10-17T21:22:00.000+10:00

I made it out of surgery. In fact, I feel pretty awesome as I write this. I would not believe that I'd had invasive surgery today, especially considering how freaked I was about getting a general anaesthetic, and how concerned I was about the potential pain post-operation. Neither concern eventuated.

It might be due to the expertise of the surgeon. Or perhaps it is the healing powers of my body.

Or maybe, just maybe, it is, in some small part, due to the addition of medicinal cocaine as part of my drug cocktail during my surgery...

Yep, cocaine helps my world go round.

PS. Don't use drugs, kids.

The other side

2006-10-15T20:19:00.000+10:00

I might be a little quiet on the posting front over the next few days or weeks. Not that I've been heavy on the blogging recently anyway.

I go in for surgery on Tuesday, and although it is only a day procedure, I have a 2 week recovery period. I might be fine pretty quickly, and in that case I'll have plenty of non-work hours to update here. Or, I might be doped up on prescriptions meds, while my head reminds me where it all hurts; in tha case, I'll probably not be a regular visitor here.

I'm not sure if I've ever been under a general anaesthetic before... maybe, when I was little. I was a bit of a magnet for illness and injury back then as well. Kinda like this year. I really hope I don't discover some sort of unknown reaction to anaesthetic. and I hope the surgeon knows what he is doing. I don't really get all that nervous about many things... but I value the integrity of my skull, and the contents inside, so I hope there aren't any operating room mistakes. Positive thoughts, positive thoughts...

Until next time.

People in glass houses...

2006-10-10T22:49:00.000+10:00

...Should renovate.

You could install one way glass/mirrors throughout the entire house. Every single wall. You can see out, but no one can see in. If you are in the bedroom, you can see out to the lounge or dining room. In the bathroom, you could see most of the rest of the house. The "deeper" you move into the house the more rooms you can see out into. You get a feeling of space and openness, even in a small house. If the reflections become too much, some walls could be slightly frosted. You could even manage an internal garden for meditation or hydroponic vegetables, and if you manage the floorplan well, you could see the garden from every room in the house.

Just make sure you have good airconditioning, it might get a little warm inside.

Observations on my weekend

2006-10-01T20:56:00.000+10:00

I had a good weekend. Didn't do much, but I'm feeling quite relaxed as Sunday night winds up and I have to start thinking about Monday. And work.

Some observations I've made over the past few days:
- I seem to publish most of my blog posts on weekends, especially Sundays. Perhaps I like to extend the weekend by reminiscing about the previous week.
- I like my food. Japanese on Thursday night, Vietnamese on Friday night, Thai on Saturday afternoon, Greek on Sunday night.
- I dislike football crowds. Admittedly, Richmond on grand final day is always going to be a nightmare but... I spotted the first drunk-guy-pissing-up-against-a-tree BEFORE the game even started. However, it did take until after the game to hear my first broken bottle. (As an aside, I saw more bottles in the street than people when I went to buy the Sunday paper this morning).
- Lunch at Cookie is a great way to spend a quiet, sunny Saturday afternoon.
- Picnic at the Botanical Gardens is a great way to spend a windy, sunny Sunday afternoon.
- Most importantly, killing all the zombies hordes in "Dead Rising" (see my post below) was incredibly satisfying.

I got nothing else.

Wax lyrical

2006-09-24T23:39:00.000+10:00

For some reason, I've been thinking about song lyrics recently. So, in tribute to these random thoughts, and with the help of Google, I've listed a few of my favourite lines from songs over the years...

"Ransom paid the devil, he whispers pleasing words, triumphant are the angels, if they get there first"

"I want something good to die for, to make it beautiful to live"

"The farther I fall, I'm beside you, As lost as I get I will find you"

"Why don't you close your eyes and reinvent me?"

"So brown eyes I hold you near, 'cause you're the only song I want to hear, a melody softly soaring through my atmosphere"

"And I still remember, Your sweet everything"

"All in all theres something to give, all in all theres something to do, all in all theres something to live, with you..."

"All these other flaws, will lead to mine"

"She'll come back as fire, to burn all the liars, and leave a blanket of ash on the ground"

"Its something I have to do, I was there too, Before everything else, I was like you"

Woah. After reading some of those lyrics, it all sounds like doom and gloom, or oddly soppy romantic gestures. Just to prove it ain't all serious here at HQ, I've gathered a few more light-hearted lyrics that make me laugh...

"We're driving Lamborghinis, and we're sipping on martinis, we're slurping on linguinis, but we're spying on bikinis"

"I summon up the power of banana clan!"

"You know my name, now give me my money!"

"Freak with a mask, and it ain't even Halloween!"

"Your game is weak, you geek, so don't sleep, Cuz I'll be checking and wrecking ya"

"Play in the rain and don't get wet, walk through the desert and don't even sweat, play in the snow and don't get cold, I'm just a cool young brother who looks kinda old"

This was fun. I might do it again soon.

Thursday Night Film Review

2006-09-24T23:35:00.000+10:00

Saw "Talledega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby" on Thursday night.

Don't bother. I'm not even gonna check if I got the spelling of Talledega right. Most of the funny scenes were in the preview/ads, and even then, some of those scenes didn't seem to make it to the final theatrical cut. The preview for the Borat movie was funnier than this entire film.

Will Ferrell, you can better. Much better. Even Tom Cruise or the baby Jesus couldn't help you...

Zombie nation

2006-09-17T21:33:00.000+10:00

After a quiet period on my Xbox 360, where I've really only being playing Halo 2 or re-visiting Ghost Recon, I was excited to notice that, finally, after a lull in the available games (mainly due to the US summer, when apparently even geeks need to get out in the sun, and thus games companies don't release many new titles), there have been a few good new games released for the 360. The game I've been eagerly awaiting is Dead Rising, which I bought over the weekend.

Dead Rising is all about zombies. Lots of zombies.

The game draws many similarities with George Romero's "Dawn of the Dead", about zombies in a shopping mall. You play as a photojournalist, who is searching for the scoop of a lifetime and has heard something is "up" in a small country town. You are flown in by helicopter and dropped on the roof of a shopping mall, determined to find out what is going on. You've got 3 days (game time) to survive, and thousands of zombies to avoid.

Dead Rising is crazy. The shopping mall has been constructed amazingly well, with all sorts of plazas, food courts, cinemas etc. The zombies are awesome; gory, shuffling monstrosities, intent of eating you alive. And thanks to the abilities of the Xbox, there are literally hundreds of zombies on screen at once. Makes for a pretty intense atmosphere... you, a deserted shopping mall (with a handful of survivors, some helpful, some scared and some just plain psychopathic), and hundreds of zombies coming for you. Fortunately, you aren't without help. The number of weapons in this game is outstandingly brutal...everything from baseball bats and golf clubs from the sports shop, chainsaws and hedge clippers from the hardware store, sledgehammers from the janitor's closet, through to guitars from the music store, pans from the cafes, rubbish bins, bowling balls, dumbbells...whatever you can pick up, you can kill zombies with. Attacking the zombies with each of these weapons creates nastily authentic sound effects and visuals, in conjunction with serious zombie carnage.

What more is there to say? Zombies. Crazy zombie violence. Awesome. (Apologies to anyone with zombie friends).

Sunday Night Movie Review

2006-09-17T20:49:00.000+10:00

In the interests of light entertainment this afternoon, I went and saw "DOA: Dead or Alive" at the movies. There weren't too many other options (school holidays seemed to have brought out half a dozen kids animated movies about animals...), but we passed up "Nacho Libre", which may or may not be good (I suspect the trailer has the best scenes), to go for trashy.

In case anyone doesn't know, "Dead or Alive" is a console-based fighting game, including competitors such as ludicrously proportioned and costumed girls, big, hulking macho guys and the obligatory old school martial arts experts. Each character has a different fighting skill set, from martial arts to wrestling and just plain brawling. There is a crazy Japanese story behind all the fighting but... well, all I remember is that it gets pretty convoluted - evil corporations, fighting tournaments, enemies, friends, brothers, sisters etc etc.

The movie takes a number of aspects of the game and shifts them to the big screen. The basic premise of the movie is that a number of talented fighters have been invited to a tropical island to participate in an elimination style tournament to find the "best" fighter, and to win $10 million. The films starts out introducing a number of the female characters, who are really the main stars of the film, and proving their combat expertise... Jaime Pressly, Holly Valance and Devon Aoki among them. Yep, big names. We then move to the island, and get introduce to assorted background characters and fighters as the tournament begins. I won't try to follow the plot, it goes a bit all over the place, but suffice to say, you know you are in for an in-depth portrayal of a villain once Eric Roberts walks on to the screen.

Despite the fact that this film sounds like rubbish, it was actually surprisingly entertaining. There were heaps of fight sequences, and although they often utilised wire work and similar techniques seen in a number of martial arts films over the last half dozen years, the fights were actually quite well done and looked (somewhat) realistic i.e. you could actually see the actors punching and kicking, rather than just rapid editing during the action. For all the young boys and geeks out there (maybe I qualify here?), there were some rather gratuitous shots of the girls in assorted skimpy outfits or bikinis, including a very necessary beach volleyball game (referencing another game in the DOA world, which is based on volleyball).

So yeah, I kinda liked this movie. And not just for the eye candy. Considering my last computer game to movie conversion was "Bloodrayne", which was atrocious, "DOA" was a much more worthy waste of an afternoon.

Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills

2006-09-16T15:39:00.000+10:00

I was on a tram yesterday, travelling along Swanston St past St Paul's church opposite Fed Square and Flinders St station. There was some scaffolding and temporary fencing around part of the church. There was some church advertising on some of the fencing, part of which proudly proclaimed "Faith in Skills".

I presume they were referring to nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, and computer hacking skills.

Old school geek fun

2006-09-10T20:46:00.000+10:00

I spent the afternoon today playing Halo 2 online on my Xbox 360. Reminded me of a time long ago, about 15 or 16 years ago to be exact. Different game(s), same partner in crime. Always entertaining.

We might have been beaten in the vast majority of our matches, and the annoying twits still talk smack online before, during and after every game, but slowly, ever so slowly, I'm starting to get the hang of proceedings. I'm actually starting to manage some reasonable scores - I think my hand-eye coordination is finally starting to...well... coordinate.

Now if I can manage to convince a few others to buy 360s and get online, I might be able to get some genuine friendly competition going. It'll be a riot. And it'll give me an excuse to get rid of the guy who keeps sending me dozens of game invites every day. Dude, seriously, you'll never read this, but ease up. Please.

CD Review

2006-09-10T20:13:00.000+10:00

At some point soon in time, I plan to write an article on "when good things go bad". No, that isn't a very bland reality TV show; rather, it is simply my opinion on when a few favourite things of mine, in particular bands and authors, have gone from being talented artists to boring wannabes that offer nothing new or exciting. Unfortunately, this phenomenon seems to be happening more and more frequently recently, making me wonder whether it is their (the artists) fault for losing touch, or my fault for just getting older, changing my tastes and just not agreeing some of my old preferences. But that is for another entry at another time...

The reason I began with that thought was that, until their most recent cd release, "Revelations", the rock band Audioslave were almost on this list. The formula was right... the instrumental section of Rage Against the Machine, a great foundation for a heavy duty rock assault, teamed with the voice of Soundgarden, Chris Cornell (who in my mind has one of the great rock voices - and screams - of all time). And yet, apart from the occasional reasonable track, I've thought their first two albums were average at best. The chemistry just wasn't there; the heavy tracks lacked an edge, the ballads were just dull. Very disappointing. I was definitely ready to give up on them.

However, Audioslave just released their new cd, and having heard a few small snippets of one or two tracks, I was pleasantly surprised by the groove behind the songs I heard, and thought I'd buy the cd and give them one last chance. Wow. Right decision. Revelations is a fantastic rock album, definitely the album Audioslave has been threatening to make since day one. It doesn't feel like one part RATM, one part Soundgarden; it finally sounds just like Audioslave. I find it really refreshing to hear a straight up good rock album, and not have to deal with all the crap around at the moment... the UK flavour of the month who will taste foul in two months time, the next Australian rock stars who are actually crap but no one will say that because they're Australia, so we have to support them... etc.

Favourite tracks of mine on the cd include Revelations, the opening track which starts gently but kicks along and sticks in your head once it begins, One and The Same, a track with the best guitar wah-wah I've heard in ages (Tom Morello is an amazing guitarist) and Broken City, which has the funkiest yet weirdest groove in a rock song that I can think of. I won't list every track here, but just about the entire album deserves a mention.

If you like authentic rock from some of the older, yet not forgotten, statesmen of the rock genre, get this album; I can't seem to get it off my iPod at the moment, which for me, is an impressive feat.

Friday Night Film Review

2006-09-10T19:53:00.000+10:00

After the great meal at SOS (read the review below), we went and saw Clerks 2 at Hoyts Melbourne Central. I'd read some pretty average reviews, but this was always going to be one of those films that I'd go and see regardless of the reviews. I enjoy stupidity in movies sometimes. OK, so maybe a lot.

And oh my lord, was there stupidity? Hell yeah. Childish antics (any of Jay's behaviour), very crude humour (porn related conversations), more geek references per minute than probably any other film this year (Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Transformers...etc). It was great.

For anyone who doesn't know the plot, well, there isn't much too it. Basically two long time friends who used to work in a convenience store (see Clerks, the original) have moved their employment to a fast food establishment. Rather than serving customers, they basically spend all day fooling around and talking shit. Hmmm, sounds like my days at work.

There is a slightly serious thread to the story, about growing up, "getting a life", and the importance of friendships and relationships. But you don't see Clerks 2 for a moral, you see Clerks 2 for the bad taste jokes and the rambling dialogue. And on that note, it delivers.

Friday Night Food Review

2006-09-10T19:00:00.000+10:00

OK, new segment. as well as my random and rather pointless reviews of films, I'm also going to review restaurants I visit. First review... SOS @ Melbourne Central. We had dinner there on Friday night.

SOS is quite a unique venue, situated in a rather hidden corner of Melbourne Central on the food/bar/movie level. The entrance is hidden behind an automated sliding door; behind the door is a long dimly lit corridor, complete with a Japanese style rock garden/fake tree trunks as decoration. Exiting the corridor reveals the restaurant itself, complete with large central bar, long "communal" style tables, similar to Longrain, and a spacious balcony. After entering via the shopping centre, the views across Swanston St to the State Library are refreshingly unexpected. I would put the restaurant vista up with Verge and Taxi for impressive dining views.

Anyway, so what is a fine dining restaurant doing in the middle of a shopping centre? Quite incongruous...

I read somewhere that SOS is a "veg-aquarian" restaurant. Which basically means seafood and vegetarian dishes only, no meat or chicken. Still makes for a pretty tempting menu to choose from. My selections were; for entree, carpaccio and tartare of salmon with a black olive sauce and citrus fruits; for main course, ravioli filled with porcini and thyme, with butter and blueberries; for dessert, macaroon and white chocolate terrine with grapefruit sorbet and citrus salad.

Very very tasty, although I have to admit my selections were not so adventurous. I'm always a sucker for nice salmon, and the ravioli sounded so simple and tasty. I was maybe slightly underwhelmed by the entree; the salmon was lovely, but there perhaps wasn't enough overall flavour to the dish. The main course was great; 5 large ravioli pieces, with a delicious filling, and a rice buttery sauce. The blueberries were a strange but welcome addition. The dessert was fantastic, an explosion of sweet, sour and rich flavours; the white chocolate in the terrine was sweet, the delicate grapefruit sorbet had a great sour kick, and what I presume were alcohol soaked cherries buried in the terrine added the richness.

All in all, awesome company, great meal. Highly recommended, even if it is in a shopping centre. I can definitely see myself out on the balcony having a leisurely meal over spring or summer.

Slow to react

2006-09-09T01:28:00.000+10:00

So I've been a bit quiet on the blogging front. Don't quite know why... some busy/dull days at work, some gloomy weather and not a whole lot of excitement I guess.

But I'll have some updates soon. Topics to include...
...Friday Night Film Review - "Clerks 2"
...dinner at SOS in Melbourne Central
...the return to form of Audioslave on their new cd
...when good stuff goes bad (in particular, authors and bands)

Sleep now.

Me versus the universe

2006-08-27T17:41:00.000+10:00

I've had a fun few months since my 29th birthday... mainly on crutches or hobbling (due to my damaged ankle ligaments).

Finally, as my ankle starts to allow me to walk without pain, I was scheduled to go in for sinus surgery this week (just to continue the trend of my body falling apart post 29th birthday). Of course, what happened instead? I got the flu/chest cold/sore throat. I had to postpone the surgery (the risk of complications, such as pneumonia, while under general anaethestic was too great) until October. And I spent another entire week at home.

Work must love me - by the end of October, I would have taken almost 6 weeks sick leave in 5 months. It bites though; everyone knows the best kind of sick leave are mental health days, when you aren't actually sick. Unfortunately, all my days have been legit.

Seriously, what else is next before the end of the year?

Saturday Night Film Review

2006-08-27T17:33:00.000+10:00

By Saturday, I mean yesterday. Went and saw "Snakes on a Plane" at Jam Factory.

"Muthafucking snakes on a muthafucking plane". Hah. Samuel L. Jackson sums it up beautifully. Not much to add, really. About as stupid as you'd expect it to be. I laughed when Mr. Jackson described the situation as "snakes on crack". And believe me, the snakes behave like they are on crack, ecstasy and steroids. They are angry. There is a lot of screaming. There are a lot of snake bites. There are a lot of victims. Most of the victims get bitten in the obligatory stupid ways and places. And the Aussie guy playing the witness who is the actual target of the snakes is pretty dopey. Scrub that, very dopey. Would have been more annoying if he'd actually been on the screen more. Unfortunately, Sam Jackson doesn't kick quite as much ass or take quite as many names as you'd hope. (I read something that his contract stated he was never allowed to actually be anywhere near a live snake throughout the entire filming of the movie).

And if someone can explain the "music video" during the credits to me, I'd appreciate it. That was just odd.

Sunday Night Film Review

2006-08-27T17:25:00.000+10:00

By Sunday night, I mean last Sunday. I've been out of it for the past week, so I'm trying to catch up.

Went and saw "Thank You For Smoking" at the Rivoli. Sunday afternoon was a great time to see it... happily, it wasn't too full and there were no worries getting tickets. (It was a preview screening, so perhaps some people didn't realise it was on).

Great film, jumps into my top few of the year so far. Although, to be honest, I can't remember many of the films I've seen so far this year anyway. The film is basically about a lobbyist (read spin doctor) who works for the tobacco industry. The movie is funny throughout, sometimes because of great writing, sometimes through the awkwardness of political correctness (or lack thereof) and sometimes through some great sight gags. A repeated premise throughout the film is that it doesn't matter what you are arguing about or believe in, because if you argue well, you are always right. Good cast. Ends well too.

Thai style

2006-08-19T16:11:00.000+10:00

Contrary to my previous post about disliking weekend crowds, I happened to head out on the town last night for a nice dinner with friends, and didn't actually mind how busy the restaurant was... perhaps it was because we already had a booking, and because I was drinking cocktails.

It was meant to be one of those "group of people from work" type of dinners, but true to form, most of the participants pulled out over the course of the several weeks between the origin of the dinner idea, and the actual "turn up to dinner" part.

That's how I found myself last night standing alone at the bar, sipping on a fantastic pear-flavoured cocktail, at Longrain in Little Bourke St, waiting for what turned out to be my three dinner companions.

The initial impressions of Longrain are great... fitted out warehouse vibe, bustling atmosphere, amazing green fish-scale feature wall, and a great cocktail menu. Oh, and the food menu wasn't half bad either. After I finished my pear cocktail, my dinner companions turned up, and we waited for our table, sipping on our next round of drinks (sour apple martini this time for me).

Dining is a communal affair at Longrain; either large parties on the larger round tables, or smaller parties on the long bench-style tables. We were positively ravenous by the time we sat down to eat (it was probably 9.30pm or so by this stage). We ended up taking the democratic approach to food selection - one dish each. (I just realised, up until this point I had failed to mention that Longrain serves Thai food. Very tasty, very good, very expensive Thai food). Thus, sooner than we were expecting, our meals suddenly appeared in front of us; lamb mussaman red curry, green curry with pork, jungle curry with duck and caramelised pork hock.

The food was amazing. The pork hock was so good that it immediately gets added to my list of amazing pork dishes I've eaten in the past few months. The lamb just melted in your mouth. The green curry and jungle curry generated a constant tingle on my lips. Even though we were hungry, the four of us couldn't quite finish the four dishes. But of course, we still had to go for dessert. I chose the coconut caramel custard with grilled banana because (i) I love caramel, (ii) I love custard and (iii) it's been ages since I've had any million-dollar fruit (banana). The dessert was insane... very tasty, and a nice experience having banana again, but oh my god, the custard was about as dense as a black hole, and as rich as anything I've ever eaten. The caramel oozed like some sort of industrial strength maple syrup. I love dessert... but even I couldn't finish this.

Thus, I found myself staggering through the city at midnight last night, feeling many kilograms heavier and liable to explode if I bumped into anything sharp. It was a great Thai meal, and heartily recommended. Just remember to take your wallet. And loosen your belt.

Weeknights are the new weekends

2006-08-17T11:16:00.000+10:00

Seriously, after having two relaxed, enjoyable nights out so far this week, I officially declare weeknights to be better than weekends for going out. Why, you may ask?

Bars and restaurants are emptier. Food and drink is served more quickly; you might even manage table service at some bars. The queues at the cinema are shorter, or non-existent. There are fewer freaks on public transport. There is less smoke in the bars. It is easier to have a chat with friends. You don't have to push through drunk/obnoxious/posing/corporate idiots to find a seat/table/friends/toilets. The music is not turned up as loud. You don't feel lame if you don't stay out all night. People aren't dressing up in the latest bad 80's clothes/styles to try and impress other people dressed in worse 80's clothes/styles.

Of course, this might be influenced by the fact that (i) I have actually left the comfort of my couch/tv this week (Jam Factory/Chapel St on Monday, The Long Room on Wednesday) and thus actually been social on a weeknight, (ii) I might be getting old and slow and thus quiet weeknight activities are better for my constitution or (iii) I am growing intolerant of people and thus going out when there are fewer people around is good for the health and wellbeing of everyone involved.

Seriously, unless you are trying to pick up (which I'm not) or are going out for a dance (which I can't until my ankle heals fully), what is the appeal of overcrowded, noisy, smoky sardine tin-inspired venues full of twits?

Having said all that, I'll still be going out this weekend.

Hobby Farm

2006-08-15T21:28:00.000+10:00

I often wonder about the way in which I spend my spare time. Do I waste it? Do I enjoy what I do while not at work? Am I keeping my mind and body sharp and healthy, or am I just turning into a lazy couch potato?

I often think that I should dedicate myself wholeheartedly towards some real hobbies or interests, rather than leading the lifestyle I currently do. Sure, I might read a fair bit, delve into the world of computer gaming, play basketball (when I'm not injured) and... yeah, that's about it. (I'm not including my day-to-day social activities here, like watching tv, listening to music, going to the movies, shopping, going to bars etc etc.). I've realised that sometimes I actually struggle to put down something interesting when presented with some sort of form or document (survey, CV etc.) that asks for hobbies/interests.

What do I do about this dilemma? The obvious answer is to find myself some hobbies. I have a few ideas that I know I would like to pursue more thoroughly, but I find that my willpower and commitment are often somewhat lacking - on a side note, I've found that ever since I finished university, my ability to pay attention to new things and learn them has reduced dramatically... I think I have almost exhausted the "study quota" in my brain. Somehow, I need to find the enthusiasm and dedication to turn some of my hobby ideas into reality.

Here are some of my ideas:

i. I would like to be a better cook. Unfortunately, I am regularly too lazy to try cooking something new each night, and despite my personality pre-disposition to organising and planning the the nth degree, I can never plan my meals ahead of time to get the ingredients for new recipes.

ii. I would like to expand my online presence. This blog has been an entertaining diversion, but I would like to focus my energies more productively; for a start, I think that might involve splitting my blog into 2 or 3... one for the everyday waffle, one more focused on my geek tendencies, and possibly another for my random thoughts and observations. The purpose of all this wouldn't be to try and get to 5, 10, 50 or 1000 readers; it would be more of a personal challenge to force myself to think and use the parts of my brain not normally challenged while at work i.e. the more creative side. Part of this may include developing my own website, but I'm not sure yet - this is all still a work in progress. I'm not so sure about something like Myspace... feels a bit too much like jumping on a bandwagon, and besides, for the moment, this is all just for my personal development rather than networking.

iii. I would like to learn how to produce music. Nothing for commercial release or anything that grandiose; again, this is a personal challenge. I listen to so much music, hours and hours each day, I would like to take all of that exposure and turn it inward, see what I could come up with. I've started this process already... it isn't much, but I am slowly teaching myself Garageband on my Mac. Nothing at all to show for it yet, apart from creases in my training manual.

iv. I would like to take more photographs. I'm not sure this would be a hobby so much as just an activity. Similar to my ideas above, I'm not planning to suddenly announce that I'm "in to photography" or anything like that. After visiting the USA last year, I've managed to collect a few photos that I am quite proud of, and I would like to expand my collection of good photos, eventually with the aim of perhaps printing them in larger formats to use as artwork and fill up the barren walls of the apartment a bit.

v. I would like to re-visit my school days and perhaps do some art classes. At one point in high school, I did art as an elective, and I had a blast (this is coming from someone whose curriculum was loaded to breaking point with maths, more maths, science and more science). I still remember some of my drawings/paintings. I liked the structure of the class environment though, so I don't think I could just start doing something from scratch, I'd definitely need to go to the CAE or something. No people or animals though... I could never get the dimensions right. I prefer inanimate objects.

... I've just skimmed back over what I have written. It all sounds so cliched. Urgh. But at the same time, I have to realise that I am a city dweller through and through, and someone who is quite possibly not going to get back into competitive sport again (unless my ankle heals beautifully, and I can manage the pain of the tendonitis in my knees), so in some ways, my options for hobbies are a little restricted (I'm never going to be a rock climber or a cyclist or something like that). Perhaps I could get into poker and earn millions? Unlikely, as much as I enjoy watching it. My card game of choice was bridge; unfortunately, my partner in crime back in our school days is now working on the other side of the globe.

So there are some of my ideas. Now it is your turn, friendly reader. How can I fill my spare time? What enjoyable pastimes can you recommend for me? And before I forget, if you have any good suggestions for how I can avoid the tv/couch trap and find the willpower to commit to my new hobbies, please add them too.

Monday Night Film Review

2006-08-15T10:06:00.000+10:00

Monday night is a great night to go out and see a movie... the cinemas are quiet, the streets aren't filled with traffic and you are the only customers in restaurants that are open.

Colin Farrell. Jamie Foxx. Miami Vice. Hell yeah.

So I went and saw Miami Vice last night at Jam Factory. It was a quality film, and I really enjoyed it. Not following the tradition of other recent TV show remakes, Miami Vice takes a very serious, gritty perspective compared to the original. The entire film is shot in a raw, "along for the ride" video style, similar to 'Collateral', dropping the typical polished Hollywood film feel for something darker, grainier, and ultimately, more realistic.

The plot itself boils down to a classic undercover vice cops infiltrating the operations of a drug lord storyline. But the film doesn't lay out every step of the story for the viewer; you have to keep up with the pace. I love films and TV shows that actually presume the viewer is semi-intelligent, allowing rapid fire dialogue complete with cop lingo to add an extra layer of realism to the delivery of the plot.

It is Miami Vice after all, so there is definitely some slick suits, fast cars and high-powered speedboats. And a crazy hair cut and moustache for Colin Farrell. There are guns and shoot-outs too, of course... but the gun fights are kept relatively sparse throughout the course of the film, so when the bullets do start flying, the action feels a lot more serious and deadly than in your average schlock Hollywood shoot-out sequences.

Probably one of my favourite films of the year so far. Well, until 'Snakes on a Plane'...

Cool Sounds, Vol. 2

2006-08-13T01:44:00.000+10:00

I'm several years behind the times here, but I've been listening to some entertainingly cheesy mash-ups recently.

A lot of mash-ups don't really work, have limited life spans or slam a great track in with a lame track, inevitably ruining the good track and getting the bad one stuck in your head all day. But occasionally, you can't help but smile.

Current favourites:
"She Wants To Twist" - The White Stripes ("The Denial Twist") vs NERD ("She Wants To Move" remix)
"Get Down Only" - Nine Inch Nails ("Only") vs Kool and The Gang ("Get Down On It")
"Pump Up The Doorbell" - The White Stripes ("My Doorbell") vs Eric B and Rakim ("Paid In Full")

Not Even Sugar Can Help

2006-08-09T16:57:00.000+10:00

It is Wednesday afternoon, and I have fallen into the mid-week, mid-afternoon lull. And it is worse than usual.

On most days I experience that brief period, usually sometime around 3pm - 3.30pm where my brain just shuts down, when the relaxation of a lunch break is just a memory. I'll sometimes go and grab a muffin or a V or something just to pep me up.

I don't think anything would work today. Don't get me wrong, I'm not sad or depressed. I think I've somehow lost the energy and motivation that I have had for work over the past 2 or 3 weeks (even though as I described in previous posts, I've had to work frustratingly long hours in difficult situations). It feels like I am one of those mile long freight trains and someone just pulled the brake... it has taken a while to start slowing down, but I can definitely feel the lack of momentum now.

The only problem is... how long will it take to get started again?

Coincidence, or Something More Mysterious?

2006-08-06T18:33:00.000+10:00

In earlier posts I have explained the origin of the ankle injury that I am (still) carrying.

(As an aside; the ankle is slowly healing, I'm walking in "normal" shoes now, no crutches or boot, but I have no strength or stability in the ankle yet, so I can't quite walk normally, and definitely can't run. Uneven surfaces, like bricks or cobblestones, and stairs are currently the bane of my existence).

However, I recently learnt that perhaps there is something more mysterious going on with me and my ankle. On the night I injured it, at Melbourne Sports and Aquatic Centre, I parked my car in a nearby car park. As I went to get a ticket, a kindly soul who was just leaving offered me his ticket. Bonus. The rest is history... I went inside, played my match of basketball and destroyed my ankle.

A week or so later, a friend of mine, playing basketball on the courts at MSAC injured his right ankle in a similar manner to me. I'd heard the story, but hadn't seen him until last Friday. We were comparing ankle-related war stories, when somehow, he managed to mention that he'd been given a free ticket for his car in the car park that night.

Huh? Excuse me??

That coincidence was just a little too freaky for me. Is this some sort of karmic revenge for using a ticket we didn't pay for? Is some mysterious cosmic entity striking us down? What is going on? Who is to blame for all the pain and anguish I have suffered through?

Universe... if you are listening, I want some answers!!
(I'd prefer blog comments over strange voices in my head and visions in dream, cheers).

IT Humour?

2006-08-02T19:47:00.000+10:00

Today at work we all received an email from our corporate IT department. It outlined a new way for us to log issues with the IT helpdesk, via email.

These email instructions contained an example of the correct way to write and send your email to IT. In this example, the poor chap was sending an email to the helpdesk because he couldn't open Outlook.

Hmmmm.....

Deprivation

2006-08-02T19:39:00.000+10:00

I think my brain is currently running on a combination of adrenalin, fear, stress and general geek mania.

It has been two 12 hour work days in a row, another one to come. My project will be live from next week.

My eyes are slowly getting dried out and burnt by my laptop screen. My body has aches that come and go at random. I really should go to bed right now. But I won't, because I refuse to let my working life impinge on my quiet evening at home.

I think I'll sleep properly sometime in a couple of weeks...

Half Way

2006-08-01T21:05:00.001+10:00

So J-Star typed "twentysevenproblems" into Google because she didn't have this blog on her favourites yet.

Lo and behold... this blog was the only entry returned. Not surprising really.

But a moment later I got very excited... one result on Google - isn't that a googlewhack? (If you don't know what one is, search it out on).

Alas, "twentysevenproblems" fails on several levels... mainly because it is not a real word. And because it is only one word, and not two.

I like to think that, for a brief moment, I was half way there. It was one of THOSE days, so please, give me my brief moment of enjoyment.

Death By 5400 Seconds Of Sleeplessness

2006-07-31T20:46:00.000+10:00

I don't like getting angry. I honestly find it a waste of time, doesn't necessarily resolve any problems, and just leaves me drained and annoyed. I think I am a patient person (I also think a judgment like this requires the input of others to verify though...). I like to believe that my patience and general ability to stay calm when getting frustrated is one of my more appealing qualities.

Not tonight though.

Due to the freakish incompetence, rudeness and general inability of some people to organise themselves into a vaguely cohesive office worker bee colony, I get to start my next three mornings at 7am.

Yeah, I know, so 7am isn't that early. But it is when I'm the one who has to set the room up, and deliver 2 hours of training while my brain attempts to find the clutch to shift gears to second.

I had 18 hours... almost 50% of my ENTIRE week last week scheduled to deliver this training. You should be able to cram learning almost anything into 18 hours, except when the attendees don't actually turn up. Now I get to screw up my workload for this week to deal with the problem.

So I'm pretty angry. Part of me hopes my patience completely wears out, and I turn green and Hulk out. Corporate destruction, Incredible H-style.

Probably good stress relief...

Cool Sounds, Vol 1

2006-07-30T16:47:00.000+10:00

Stabbing/slashing sound effects in tracks...kind of like electronic swords. Hard to explain, I just dig them.

Try:
"Kill The DJ" - Peeping Tom featuring Massive Attack
"Pug" - Smashing Pumpkins
"Exterminator" - Primal Scream

Frustration

2006-07-30T16:41:00.000+10:00

It's Sunday. Lovely day. Been out for brunch, had great berry pancakes with maple syrup and ice cream. Kicking back at home, windows and doors open, sun streaming in, the busy sounds of the world filtering inside. What's missing?

Reading the Sunday paper, of course.

But it's late afternoon now. Quick, run down to the nearest place that has papers. Aargh. Sold out.

I feel incomplete without my Sunday newspaper fix! Grrr.

The XBL Chronicles, Vol 1

2006-07-30T16:04:00.000+10:00

Continuing the well-established theme of my geek credentials, I have recently bought a 1 year subscription to Xbox Live, which is the online service for the Xbox. Out of the box, the Xbox 360 comes with a "silver" subscription, which basically lets you log on, download game demos and trailers etc. You need a "gold" subscription to actually play games online against other like-minded souls. After my complimentary 1 month gold subscription when I first logged on, I was hooked... it's just taken me a while to arrange a full subscription.

I logged on yesterday for the first time with my new subscription. Hah, I'd forgotten how entertaining it was!

Now, part of the appeal of Xbox Live is the ability to download older style "arcade" games i.e. games that only require a short attention span, or are easy to pick up and learn. This includes both old arcade classic and newly developed games that are deliberately short and sweet for the purpose of being added to the Xbox Live Arcade. Retro gaming can be a lot of fun... I've been messing around on demos of Frogger and Galaga; feels like I have one of those coffee table arcade machines on my tv. I've also been trying out one or two of the newer games, like Bankshot Billiards, a nice, well-executed billiards game. It's actually quite strange coming back down to earth and playing games that only require one or two buttons, rather than an entire controller to manage.

As fun as the mini arcade games are, the real gold of Xbox Live is playing against other folks in multiplayer games online. A large amount of games include multiplayer components, but the majority of these are first-person shooters (FPS); I'm not going to get into an argument here about the effects or lack thereof from playing violent video games. A global favourite in this genre is no doubt Halo 2, a future-themed humans vs aliens shoot 'em up where you play as an enhanced human warrior called Master Chief. But really, that stuff doesn't matter. What matters is the complete insanity of playing this game online.

I thought I was half-way decent at Halo 2. I finished the single player game. I tend to do well when playing against my friends in multiplayer when we hook up a local game of multiplayer across two Xboxes and two TVs. But when I logged on to Xbox Live, and started playing against other people.... I got owned. Completely. The most entertaining (and slightly annoying) feature... everyone is able to communicate in-game. So when I get shot and killed from behind while I'm still trying to figure out which way is up, I get to hear the 13 year old from Texas complete the humiliation with trash-talk in his not-yet-broken voice.

It might be humiliating, but it is also an absolute adrenalin rush. You really do need razor-sharp hand-eye coordination and reaction times to perform well against the folks online. Fortunately, Halo 2 is one of the most well-balanced, finely tuned games I've ever played... if you have the skills, your character will do exactly what you want, when you want. It just works.

So in the coming weeks, I'm going to occasionally post some stories from my time online playing Halo 2 as I try and turn myself from walking target practice to a smooth operator. Unfortunately, I probably need to be playing 12 hours a day to ever compete against anywhere near the best players... but other stuff like work, eating, sleeping and socialising are going to get in the way. And as addicted as I might sound to the concept of skilling up in Halo 2, I do indeed enjoy the rest of my life.

Epilogue:
If you've never played video games before, you probably just think I'm an idiot.
If you think video games promote violence and stupidity, and are only played by 13 year olds, then you'll still think I'm an idiot.
Come play a game of 2 vs 2 multiplayer with rockets and grenades as the only weapons... and if you aren't entertained, frustrated, nerve-wracked and experiencing an elevated pulse, then yeah, you'll probably definitely think I'm an idiot. Perhaps you should have just skipped this post...

Explanation

2006-07-25T23:45:00.000+10:00

On the off-chance that you are reading this, and don't know me, I think you should have realised by now, I'm a geek.

The odd "gamercard" thing on the right hand menu there is my Xbox Live gamercard... yes, I play Xbox, and yes, that is extraordinarily geeky. The gamercard basically lists my gamertag (name) and "achievements" score (kind of like how far I have played through in all my games). The gamercard tracks the games that I play, and updates any changes. I thought it was a pretty cool feature that I could link to it off this blog.

I like the intersection of assorted technologies (games console, computer, internet etc.) and communities (blogs, Xbox Live etc.), and the way these sorts of features are steadily being integrated together.

Expect to see more geek features and stories like this in the posts ahead...

A Wonderful, Magical Animal

2006-07-24T21:31:00.000+10:00

I don't each much pork. Two reasons... firstly, I've never learnt how to cook it in any tasty dishes (I focused on chicken, beef and lamb in my early days away from home). Secondly, since J-Star doesn't eat it, it's a bit difficult to cook in our current household. Doesn't matter, because I don't really miss it. Well, not much until recently.

In the last 2 months, I have tasted 3 of the greatest pork dishes that I have ever had. Each time, I felt like my heart was going to give out on me, and I could almost feel my belt stretching as I consumed each tasty morsel.

Round 1:
Confit of Western Plains Pork Belly with Pea Custard and Apple Balsamic Dressing @ Becco

Becco is one of my all-time favourite restaurants, so maybe I'm biased, but this dish was divine. The small-ish confit of pork belly was rich, yet beautifully delicate. The apple balsamic cut through the richness perfectly. If Becco didn't do so many other delicious entrees to entice me, I could eat this dish every time I went there.

Round 2:
Pork Hock @ Lamaro's

Tempted by the memory of the pork belly at Becco, I chose the pork hock as main course for lunch. The pork literally fell to pieces as I cut, sliced and stabbed with knife and fork. Tender, succulent, rich and fatty. Mmmmmmm.

Round 3
Crispy Pork Belly @ North Fitzroy Star

Inspired by my last two pork choices, I went the crispy pork belly for entree. Oh my god. An entree size, with 4 main course sized chunks of pork belly. Crispy, crunchy and very Sunday-afternoon-extravagant.

No real point to this entry, apart from the memory of taste sensations. Not sure if I'll try pork again in the near future though... I don't think any other dish I could try would do justice to these three culinary wonders. Even the essential ham on a capricciosa pizza just won't be the same...

Try and Remember...

2006-07-24T21:21:00.000+10:00

OK, before I forget, a few things I want to write about in the future.

- My addiction to buying new pairs of jeans
- Clogging my arteries by consuming three of the greatest pork-related dishes I have ever tasted
- The fragments of songs that I like that make them "work"
- The worst surfaces to walk over with crutches
- Life as an obsessive-compulsive
- My part-time hobby as a music-making novice
- Poor working habits

There are obviously more topics than that. But they came to me over the last day or two.

The Gig List

2006-07-14T21:40:00.000+10:00

Thinking about my favourite gigs tonight was what started this whole list business. No idea what started me on thinking about my favourite gigs.

What falls into the gig list? Basically, any day/night out where I have gone to a venue for the specific reason of seeing an artist, whether a DJ, band, solo artist, whatever.

Without further messing around, the list begins (numbered, but in no particular order)...

1. Patrick Lindsay versus Steve Douglas @ Revolution, The Palace, 2000 or 2001 (I think)

This was insane. It was a stinking hot summer night, and "Cliff" (I'll call him that for the moment, he'll love it) and I went to a this party. Can't remember much of who else was on the bill (Christian Smith maybe?, CJ Boland maybe?). It was about 5am in the morning, and we'd had a pretty great night already. My feet were aching, my sneakers were sticking to the floor, and I probably stank of sweat from all the dancing. We were definitely ready to leave. Before we walked out, we decided to check out the back room of The Palace one last time. I think we caught these guys at the start of their set, and already the crowd was jumping...the tunes were sounding decent, so we figured we'd listen for a few moments. I don't know what happened next, but suddenly I was going absolutely mad, crazy-dancing like I'd only just started my night... this was the single greatest set of party techno I had ever heard. Patrick Lindsay was out in front of the decks, beatboxing and dancing around himself, and then every track or so, he'd jump back behind the turntables, and mix a track or two while Steve Douglas took a breather. I've never seen so many people dancing that fast and happy, with that much energy, ever. Sure, some of them (most of them?) could have been under the influence (I was clean), but my god... no mosh pit or dance floor has ever felt like that again. Couldn't name a single track they played, but that doesn't matter.

2. Summersault @ Melbourne Showgrounds, Summer 1995/1996

This was my first festival experience, and my first ever gig with big name internationals; everything up until this show had been Australian bands in pubs. I remember how excited I was when I read the line-up... Pavement, Beck, Beastie Boys, Sonic Youth, Foo Fighters, Rancid and more. No side stage distractions, just one main stage and one smaller stage right next to it. I spent the entire day in the sun, sitting on the grass just in front of one of the mixing desks. Didn't go with anyone, didn't know anyone. Just me and some of my favourite bands. I didn't mind if I got sunburnt, I didn't mind that I looked friendless... just to be there to watch Stephen Malkmus and Spiral Stairs lead a Pavement-powered afternoon of beautifully awkward slacker rock, to see a sickly Beck fumble around trying to start and re-start one of his acoustic tunes, to see Dave Grohl in front of a mic instead of a drum kit. It all just worked.

3. Beck @ The Forum, sometime in later 1990's

4. Pavement @ The Forum, again sometime in the later 1990's

The Forum is such a beautiful venue, I fell in love with it the first time I saw a show there; which I think was Pavement. Just walking out through the booths to the stage area, marvelling at the Roman columns and being freaked by the ceiling when, just for a moment, I thought I was outside under a twilight sky, stars gentling sparkling.

I saw both Beck and Pavement there at separate times in the 90s. They were, and still are, two of my favourite artists. Both gigs were perfect... getting a full, non-festival set from Pavement at the height of their powers, and seeing Beck channel James Brown as he shimmied across the stage, wailing, dancing and doing the splits like a man possessed. Loved every second I was there, they were both gigs where almost every song you could hope for was played. The Beck gig was based off Odelay, while Pavement were at least up to Wowee Zowee. Wish I could remember more...

5. Luke Slater @ Halcyon Knights, Royal Exhibition Buildings NYE 1999/2000

This gets a nod for a single track. Luke Slater had the plum main stage post-midnight set, everyone had just gone through the obligatory NYE/Y2K craziness...the cheering died down and bang, he started with "Class Action". Probably my all time favourite techno track, certainly was back then. Just to hear that mad crunching sound, the booming bass drum. It was a spine-tingling moment.

6. Space DJz @ Chevron, sometime in the early 2000's (I think)

Two guys, four decks, cigarettes dangling from their mouths, beers between the turntables... a fantastic mix of attitude and party vibe. The great thing about this night was that it wasn't even a sell-out, there was heaps of room on the dance floor. It was a crazy mash-up set, great techno mixed with hip house, r'n'b and whatever the hell else. I danced like a stupid man, smiling the whole time. Still remember wandering down St Kilda Rd to my car in the early morning sun, finding it plastered in flyers and a layer of frost.

7. Nine Inch Nails @ Big Day Out and Rod Laver Arena, earlier in the 2000's and last year

Just because.
I missed their Alternative Nation gig in the early 90's, and was glad when they finally came back. And came back again. I got chills during practically every song. Both gigs were just fantastic, and each track was beautifully performed, true to the album versions, despite some of the studio wizardry on some tracks. I absolutely loved one track they played at their last gig, but had absolutely no idea what it was called, where it was from, anything... I spent months trying to figure it out. It was "Dead Souls", a Joy Division cover. I have a copy now. I just wish people would listen to their entire back catalogue, and learn more than just "Closer".

8. Soundgarden @ Big Day Out and Festival Hall, late 1990s

I was fortunate to catch Soundgarden twice in two days. I think it was their last ever tour... after finishing in Australia, I think they did some gigs in Hawaii and then split. When they first came on stage, nearing sunset, with smoke, fans and melodramatic orchestral music, it was definitely a memorable moment. Kim Thayil's hair streamed behind him as he looked like some sort of guitar god, and Chris Cornell stalked around the stage, belting out the songs with THAT voice. Nothing he has done since has quite sounded as awesome as on the best tracks of his Soundgarden days. Hearing "Black Hole Sun" as a solo performance was beautiful, but anything they played on those two nights just rocked the house down. Having that second night was a rare treat, a repeat performance of their greatest hits just before their downfall.

9. Any booty house gig @ Honkytonks

I have listened and danced to several mad, mad booty house sets over the years. Boogs and Spacey Space, DJ Godfather, DJ Assault, and more. Some of the cheesiest, stupidest tracks ever, and yet unbelievably hands-waving, ass-shakingly good. I particularly remember going to see Godfather just after I'd moved into an apartment in Fitzroy. ODB and I had a few people around... I hit the cans of V hard. I hit the vodka even harder... too much vodka, not enough not vodka. Apparently I was handful trying to shut me up and get us inside past the door biatches. I partied like a crazy man until about 3am, when I promptly decided it was time to fall asleep sitting next to the dancefloor... Godfather was still playing, girls were dancing around the pole, the bass must have been shaking the entire building... and I was trying to sleep.

That'll do for now. There's definitely more. If I can remember...

Looking back, I'm glad I did that... apart from the memories, it made me play a few old tracks I probably haven't heard for a while; rediscovering an old favourite is worth the price of admission.

Lists

2006-07-14T20:34:00.000+10:00

On the way home tonight, while staggering and hobbling to the train, I started thinking about lists. You know, like top five, top ten lists. Like John Cusack in 'High Fidelity'.

Does anyone ever actually have a "top ten" list of something that they actually remember? Or can decide on? Movies, songs, albums, books, pairs of sneakers, friends, ex-girl/boyfriends, desserts, restaurants, cocktails, paintings, types of cloud, computer games, scientific theorems, Derwent pencil colours...

I can never remember all of my favourite things. Or perhaps, it isn't that I can't remember, it is maybe more like I can't decide on those things that I do actually remember. And I probably forget about some of those favourite things that I really should remember... It's like when you walk into JB HiFi; you know that there is probably dozens of cds or dvds that you'd love to buy right there and then because you thought "it would be great to have that" yesterday/the day before that/last year/whenever, but when you walk into the shop, when you are put on the spot and have to remember and make a decision, you can't remember a single one of those cds or dvds. You are left standing in front of the new release section thinking "now what did I want again...?".

Maybe it's just me?

So I think that I am going to start using this blog to write down lists. I'll start with the cliches, to get them out of the way, and perhaps move on to some more creative lists. Maybe I'll need some rules.

1. The lists won't be number-limited.
i.e. I won't do a top 5 or top 10 every time; I probably won't ever do one of these. I'll do a "as many as I can remember" or "as many as I can be bothered with for the moment".
2. Positive thoughts only.
i.e. I'll keep the lists on a positive vibe. I think it is too easy to fall into a trap and just complain about things. And in some cases, I think developing lists of things that irritate, annoy and frustrate me would be like shooting fish in a barrel. with dynamite.
3. Descriptions necessary.
Even just a brief comment or two to remind me of the experience or thing, and perhaps inform/help/inspire someone else.
4. Repeats welcome.
If I come up with an entry rushing up a list with a bullet, I might just re-visit a previous list.
5. Author has the right to review and update the rules.
Makes my life easier.

I think the best outcome in doing something like this will be to provide a reminder of great experiences from my life that I might have forgotten... so that I can revisit them in memory or in person, even if only for a brief moment.

And if all this turns out to be a complete dud, and I look back and laugh at the thought... well, at least I know what number one with a bullet is on my "Stupid Blog Ideas" list would be.

The Grand Gameshow Adventure

2006-07-12T23:37:00.000+10:00

I have an extraordinary amount of useless information in my head... this does not make me a gun at Trivial Pursuit for some reason though (I have too many other friends who, I have learnt the hard way, are very talented in this department). But it does make me great at answering useless random questions (generally when they somehow reference the useless information in my head).

I am thoroughly convinced that my inability to remember even the basics of my university degree can be solely attributed to the osmosis of random pop culture trash into my brain.

I am hoping that I can translate that garbage in my brain into worthwhile cash and prizes though... it might seem cheesy or amusing, but I am currently waiting for a call-up to Temptation, a revamped version of the quiz show Sale of the Century. I passed the audition with flying colours (a 50 question general knowledge barrage) and threw in a few amusing anecdotes to get the producers to remember me. Now hurry up and call my name!

Am I nervous?

Not really.

Why not?

Well, mainly because of one of the anecdotes that I shared with the producers of Temptation... that I've already been on TV before. On another game show. I'm an experienced campaigner now. (Hah! Yeah, right).

That other game show was Deal Or No Deal. However, I probably didn't manage the most successful performance ever seen on that show. I like to think that I was smart and skillful enough to win out on the general knowledge aspect of the show, but unlucky enough to lose on the random chance portion. Unfortunately, you get the money in the random chance portion of the show.

I won't explain the rules of the show... if you haven't seen it, you probably won't quite understand it. Suffice to say, you can win anywhere between $200,000 and 50c. Care to hazard a guess at my performance?

$1.

Top work, tiger.

I even have the giant plastic novelty cheque, to the value of $1. I think the plastic itself is worth more than what I won. (They even sent me a real cheque... to the value of $1).

So... Temptation producers... please call. Invite me on.
So... Gods of game shows... please smile on me. Give me questions on the useless facts in my brain.

I need at least some sort of cash and/or prize (preferably much of both) to ensure my grand gameshow adventure doesn't end as a bogus journey.

Browser Wars

2006-07-08T18:15:00.000+10:00

Well, well, well.

So I've taken the next step in figuring out this blogging thing.

Mozilla Firefox GOOD.

Safari BAD.

So I now know how to format text and add links. Hah. Finally. It wasn't because I was an idiot. It was because my web browser didn't let me.

Musing On Communication Styles

2006-07-03T21:49:00.000+10:00

Something that irritates and frustrates me an extraordinary amount is trying to read articles, presentations and other documents written with language that reads like a thesaurus that has suffered a catastrophic explosion all over the page.

Now, I don't claim to be good with the words. 'Cause I ain't.

But I can tell the difference between an easy-to-read document... and one that isn't. And if you have to attempt to put Humpty the Thesaurus back together again just to understand a single sentence, you are probably reading the English language equivalent of the midlife crisis/doof-doof sports car... a method of showing off and trying to be special and important and display some sort of bizarre superiority over the rest of your species, all the while not quite realising that you just look like a twat.

In my opinion, someone who can communicate intelligently with the written word can explain a complicted theory, thought, concept, idea, or whatever, with simple, concise terms in a small amount of words. If you think you are smart, but still can't get your message across in a simple way, then take your hand off it and stop trying to show off.

I appreciate that when writing about certain topics or focusing on specialist areas, linguistic gymnastics is a requirement... you can't necessarily explain fluid mechanics or electromagnetic theory with four and five letter words only. But even in complicated fields, there are always ways to dumb things down, and yet still get your message across.

Unfortunately, the practice of buzzword bingo is prevalent everywhere. And unfortunately, I've worked in one of the worst industries of all for this habit... management consulting. If you put "synergy", "leverage", "collaborative", "strategic" and a handful of other random words in a hat, and pulled out three of them, you would probably have the name of methodology that you could sell to clients. What I love about this theory of mine is that you can also apply it to the titles of movies starring Jean Claude Van Damme... in this case, try the buzzwords of "hard", "blood","sudden", "death", "impact", "double", "target", and... well, you get the picture. Try it yourself.

Anyway, what was I saying? The use of ludicrously complicated language is everywhere. I've worked in a number of industries over my few years in the work force...transport and supply chain, automotive, telecommunications, agribusiness, manufacturing and IT. And I studied engineering, mathematics and physics. Hah. I can't escape it. But what I have learned to value over these years is being able to recognise the skills of people who can explain complicated topics easily. Those people are the ones who actually get things done. And help manage others to get things done too. Those people who are too busy playing buzzword bingo are the ones who might seem intelligent on the surface, but dig a bit deeper (not very deep), and you realise, no one actually understands what the hell they are talking about. They're all just too afraid to admit it. And none of them actually ever get around to doing anything productive or useful. And in the end, that's what irritates me more than anything else.

Bored now.

If I Played For Brazil...

2006-06-26T20:32:00.000+10:00

I would be a tall, lanky striker, known to be deadly with headers at set pieces and surprisingly agile around the penalty box.

My name would be Andrerto.

Vocabularisation

2006-06-24T23:40:00.000+10:00

I was very disappointed to find this when performing a dictionary search on the word 'hot'...

tr.v. hot·ted, hot·ting, hots
Informal. To cause to increase in intensity or excitement. Often used with up

It is just wrong. Very wrong. Even if the dictionary appears to allow it.

In particular, pay attention to tv sports broadcasts, or even occasionally the news. Nothing is "heating up" up any more, things are always "hotting up". I can handle the phrase when dealing with pimped-out cars, but I prefer to receive my sports and news without the complete bastardisation of a perfectly reasonably expression.

Merchandising Opportunites

2006-06-24T23:29:00.000+10:00

Just one of those things, have to make sure I write it down before it disappears into the ether.

Hip Hop Cereal...

Mixmaster Mike Muesli.
Kool Keith Special K.
Jay-Z Just Right.
N*E*R*D Nutrigrain.
ODB Oatmeal.

Served with Milk by Kelis.

Breakfast would definitely reign supreme as the premier meal of the day.